Whoosh!
Acella’s senses returned. The garden of the Moonlight Palace. The pitch-black darkness of the night had gradually consumed her heavily.
The cold air of midwinter brushed against her nose and woke her brain. It cruelly made her realize that all her experiences so far were not dreams but a reality without a single lie.
A strand of white hair had appeared among her disheveled locks.
“Ah.”
Before she could even confirm her regained sight, Acella collapsed heavily to the ground.
The frozen grass, cold as it was, scraped her knees. Clank, the wand she held fell.
“Ahh.”
A bizarre sound emerged as the wind scratched her vocal cords.
As if she only knew how to make that sound from the beginning, like a beast that had lost its words.
“Ugh, hng, uah.”
Something that was neither a groan nor a scream burst forth.
She clutched the grass on the ground with both hands.
“L-Lars, Lars—”
The secret he had been hiding was not about being on borrowed time.
It wasn’t a tale of wishes either.
It was this.
Lars was repeating time.
What she had seen with her clairvoyance until now was not a simple possibility that could occur in the future.
It was all incidents that had already happened.
Becoming an emperor and turning into a tyrant.
Going mad and destroying the world.
For Lars, it was all things that had actually happened.
There were intense experiences she could never forget.
Deaths that he had met countless times, dozens, hundreds of times.
“Ugh, hng—”
It was like hell.
A prison of time from which even death couldn’t escape.
How long had he to fall in fear and anxiety?
How often did he struggle in the pain of death?
Now, Acella finally understood Lars.
The reason he was so knowledgeable and capable for his age.
The reason he knew the most effective strategies against any country, whether it was a newly seen assassin or barbarian, and had a high understanding of healing spells.
The reason he acted as if he knew the future.
And the reason he was strangely insensitive to danger to his own life.
If he had repeated death like that, being dulled was to be expected.
Emotions would have faded away too.
Anger, hatred, affection, compassion— the more they were repeated, the more worn they became.
And the reason Lars had to change like that was…
“It’s because of me.”
In most of those futures, no, practically all of them.
The tyrant Acella von Württemberg had directly or indirectly killed the healer Lars.
If it weren’t for her, Lars would have already defeated the Demon King and returned as a hero, receiving the applause of the Empire’s citizens.
Each time, she had ruined everything.
No, he wasn’t even someone who should have taken such dangerous roles from the start.
If he had held a more important position, he could have saved more lives.
She was the one who pushed him to the brink.
She was the one who executed his father.
The one who wiped out Gothberg.
The one who had pushed him down to the commoner level and dragged him into the extreme situation of a hero party.
“All, all of this is me—”
It can’t be.
This shouldn’t be happening.
Lars fixed me…
But I killed Lars…
…….
How could this be?
So, so that’s why he came to me with a knife in that flower patch when we first met.
He must have wanted to stab me.
…Yes.
If it were me, I would have hacked him to pieces right there.
And yet, you…
You endured that, hundreds of times.
“You fixed me?”
How,
how could you….
You must have hated the sight of me.
It would have been natural to break off the engagement.
I, I
What should I do…?
What should I do.
“Ugh, hng.”
Tears streamed down Acella’s face, tracing down to her chin.
She was frozen there like a statue, forgetting even the basic reflex of blinking.
No matter how much she regretted, Lars was no longer by her side. He had gone somewhere out of reach.
If only I had known this earlier.
There had been so many chances to turn back everything that had gone wrong.
She resented herself for saying foolish things to him for years.
She was never qualified to have him as her attending physician from the start.
She shouldn’t have taken an interest in him, nor should she have developed feelings for him.
Where did it all go wrong, from where?
Even as the knot in her mind tightened, the worst part was.
She still wanted to see him so much that it drove her mad.
Even if he hated her, even if he resented her.
She wished he would hold her like he used to.
She wanted to be wrapped in that warm embrace and feel at ease.
She wished he would examine her immediately and help her escape this pain.
How selfish.
She was an endlessly selfish woman.
The word wicked woman seemed to have been created just for her.
But still, still.
But I like you.
Lars, I can’t live without you.
If I can no longer even speak to you.
“What do I do, what do I do? Aah— ugh— Haaah—”
Her brilliant mind, her outstanding insight were of no use whatsoever.
All she could do was wail like a child, sobbing her heart out.
In the expansive garden, Acella’s pitiful cries echoed mournfully.
Ten minutes later, Tanya and the maids rushed in upon hearing the sound to protect Acella.
Half-conscious, Acella was carried by Tanya and collapsed onto her bed.
Three days later, she regained consciousness.
During that time, Chloe had cared for her, so her health was fine, yet her mind had become tremendously weak.
“I want to be alone.”
Ignoring her piled-up duties, Acella had locked herself in her room for a long time.
It was the first time she had put off royal duties, causing the court staff to sense that something was seriously wrong.
Acella, who never stopped studying or reading reports even while taking breaks, had completely halted all activities of the Moonlight Palace during such a critical period after the state funeral, concerning decentralization and military actions.
The Moonlight Palace had become like a dam with the water cut off and dried up.
Only when all functions were paralyzed did Acella finally call to the secretary and deliver a letter.
“…Send it to the Former Country.”
Even in broad daylight, she hadn’t changed out of her pajamas, and her hair was a mess.
Seeing Acella, whose state was no different than that of a recluse, the secretary’s heart broke, but he had no choice but to respectfully follow her orders.
*
“You’ve safely arrived. I’ve been waiting for you, big brother!”
As I stepped into the mansion, Neria hopped and greeted me.
Curious about what she wanted, I bent down, and she joyfully patted my head.
“Hehe.”
There was another little silver creature bouncing around. This isn’t my Inner Palace, is it? For a moment, I mistook it for a place outside the Empire.
“I was waiting for you, Lars. You’ve worked hard on the long journey. First, take a good rest.”
“Aren’t you being too kind for a son who has returned unemployed? What if I go back to being a delinquent?”
“Hahaha, if you do that, there must be a reason.”
“I prepared a room for you.”
“Wow, I can’t even crack jokes anymore.”
Thanks to that, I relaxed and enjoyed a week of peace.
For the first time in a while, I didn’t need to wake up early in the morning, had no work to deal with, and experienced perfect freedom without any affiliations.
Food was brought to me at any time I wanted.
When bored, I would ride on the wolves with Gishta, taking a spin around the snowy mountains.
The Gothberg Knights had already set up a private sledding area halfway up the mountain.
So I got to enjoy it a lot too.
Is this what it’s like to live as an unemployed person?
I could do this for a lifetime…
“Ah, this is a nice place to live, the Former Country.”
Eating breakfast while greeting the sunrise halfway up the mountain given to me by Neria felt great.
“Look over there, Lars. They’ve widened the river! The large boats can come in too.”
“Really? When did such civil engineering take place?”
“My friends and I dug it up.”
Truly, the Thunder Tribe had more strength than any excavator.
“People from the neighboring country came over. A new village has appeared over there. They grow corn. Can you see the city? They are building many new houses. The lady said it’s thanks to her becoming rich.”
“Wow, do you know our town better than I do now?”
“Haha, now that’s where I live.”
Gishta was reliable. She had great affection for the land.
“Tanya said she left at the Empire. From now on, leave the escorting to me!”
Thud, Gishta stood up vigorously, swinging her axe.
“Isn’t it a bit excessive since you’ll just be moving around your territory?”
“…Is it? But Tanya had always followed you like a shadow wherever you went, even into the restroom.”
“She followed me to the restroom?!”
“I see you didn’t notice. I’ve caught spies and scouts trying to track you a couple of times too.”
Tanya had been quietly skilled.
“The Imperial Family has always been like that. Here, there aren’t any hostile forces, so there’s no need for that.”
“Hmmm… I thought I’d be sticking by you all day, so I even got permission from the lady, but now it’s a letdown.”
Gishta scratched her head. I couldn’t help but smile.
“You mean all day? When will you sleep?”
“We can sleep with our eyes open.”
“If someone sees you, they’ll think you’re a gargoyle statue. Just during the day, please.”
“Okay, leave it to me!”
Gishta squatted down, proudly showcasing her shoulder blades in front of me.
“Then I guess I should get started. I’ve rested long enough.”
“Oh, are you opening a hospital?”
“Yeah. After all, I am a doctor no matter how you look at it.”
“Is there a maternity department for mothers and babies?”
“It’s called obstetrics. Why?”
Gishta stroked her chin as if in trouble.
“Already plenty of tribesmen are having children even while I’m not listening to their stories. They’re still running around, but soon enough, it’ll be difficult when they need to give birth.”
“The defense brigade can’t decrease in strength. Hmmm.”
I envisioned my hospital in the Former Country as a general hospital.
Surgery, internal medicine, ophthalmology, family medicine, pediatrics, neurology, ENT, orthopedics, and I would need to build a huge pharmacy too.
Having an obstetrics section would be great too, of course.
However, the doctors who came with me from the Inner Palace were far too few in number.
“Should I see if there are any talents around?”
“Oh, are you going to the Healing Academy?”
“Yeah. I’ll need your escort.”
“I’ve been waiting! Let’s get you there right away!”
Gishta confidently picked me up and began to dash down the mountain. There was no doubt she had a completely different understanding of the escort role.
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