What could Lady Tang be suspecting?
Surely, she must still believe in the setting of my life-long friend as a master of poison. Yet, what could be the reason she doubts me again?
‘It’s because the motivations of my character are shallow.’
Situational acts of kindness resembling that of a friend, the healing potion created with friends—everything ultimately derives from external elements related to others, not the character of Kang Yoon-ho.
Some might see this as an overly superficial reason.
This problem can be approached from the perspective of a web novel writer.
Let’s add depth to my character.
By attaching a pre-prepared story to the character.
“Actually, no.”
In truth, I wanted to help because I had a crush on you. My actual preference doesn’t care about skin or stuff. There’s no way she would believe this.
I want to squeeze out the poison from the little bag of the childhood friend who betrayed me. Then Lady Tang, the expert in poisoning, would definitely come into play.
“What then?”
It shouldn’t be revealed immediately.
I need to dissolve her heart and plant my motivations in her softened chest.
Now, let me share a definitely heart-wrenching tale.
I knelt down and hugged my knee, gazing briefly at the ceiling. Let’s pretend to be a man with a past. I need to wear the expression of a man reminiscing about old memories.
“When I was young, I lost my childhood friend in an unforeseen accident and fell into sorrow for some time.”
In the past, Kang Yoon-ho had been devastated after losing Cheon So-hee. Let’s frame this as an introductory part to prevent any potential setting conflicts.
“The childhood friend… was that friend who was a master of poison?”
“No, another one. After losing my childhood friend, I lived in despair for a while until one day I saw some kids throwing stones at another child. They were yelling, ‘Leper! Leper spawn!’”
The sorrowful boy encounters his bullied friend who is a master of poison.
“That kid must have felt the same.”
Lady Tang made a pitiful expression toward the teasing cries.
She probably empathizes. After all, the setting is something created from witnessing you being bullied.
“Was it because you lost your childhood friend? Or was it the sense of justice of a child? I couldn’t just stand by and watch as they tormented a weak child. I dashed in and punched the face of the kid who looked like the alley boss. Then they all ran away.”
I smiled as if reminiscing about a delightful memory.
“That kid must have been grateful.”
“No, rather, he scolded me.”
“Why?”
“Because he was cultivating martial arts and was holding back. He lectured me not to bully the weak. Isn’t he foolish?”
My inseparable friend. A friend who was impossible to hate. Lady Tang would feel no animosity toward my face as I spoke ill of my friend.
“Uh…”
Lady Tang seemed to be at a loss for words.
“Haha. Yeah, I had that exact expression. Helping and still getting scolded. In the end, that led to a big fight, and we became… friends.”
First, let’s layer the story onto the friend whom she knows is a master of poison.
“Didn’t I call him a bosom friend?”
“Yeah, an unparalleled friend. I used to think we both felt that way, but later… I started to doubt it.”
Then, let’s hit her with a shocking fact to grab her attention.
“Doubt it?”
“The friend, as the side effects of the poison grew worse, began to push me away. He would say, ‘I’m going to make the medicine instead of meeting you. I don’t need a loser like you. Get lost.’ He even cursed at me. One day, we ended up having a huge fight, and I stormed out of his house, shouting that I’d never come back!”
“Why did that happen?”
Lady Tang asked me with a bitter tone.
She, with no friends, would find it hard to understand a situation where a friend would reject someone.
“Not long after that, I heard of my friend’s demise.”
And here comes the second shocking blow.
“What?”
Lady Tang’s eyes grew wide at my words.
“Did he not want to show me his last moments? Or was he in so much pain that he pushed me away? Either way, I didn’t realize that at that moment, he needed me more than anyone else.”
The will didn’t even mention wanting the completed medicine. I mumbled in a voice full of regret while pretending to talk to the friend in the sky, who might be listening.
The complaints of a patient.
In a situation so painful and tormenting that he would even resent a friend who stays by his side until the end.
In such times, one should silently comfort the patient and remain by their side, observing until the end, but Kang Yoon-ho didn’t know that.
Because he was young.
“…That can happen.”
What could be that? A friend? Or me? Lady Tang lowered her head and gazed at the bed after seemingly empathizing with my past.
So this is Kang Yoon-ho’s heart-wrenching past.
But it shouldn’t end here.
I need to create a connection between you and me.
“What did he mean when he pushed me away? I wanted to stay by his side no matter what. Even as the kid forced himself to leave, he’d say, ‘Next time, I’ll hit you in the forehead.’ He even threatened me.”
I emphasized my forehead while looking at Lady Tang. She was surprised and raised her head to gaze at me.
“That’s a phrase I used.”
“Haha. Right. Honestly, I was surprised. I didn’t expect to hear that again.”
I laughed briefly to lighten the mood, then put on a sorrowful smile, gazing at her with a longing expression as if I were seeing both my friend and Lady Tang.
“I’m not your friend.”
Does she understand the meaning behind my gaze? Lady Tang turned her head away with a puzzled expression.
It’s working.
She likely feels her doubts softening after hearing my heart-wrenching past.
“Yeah, you’re not my dead friend. And the desire to see the effects of the medicine my friend created is a small reason for helping you.”
Let’s smoothly transition into the main point of her earlier question.
In reality, the story about my friend’s medicine isn’t the real reason. It’s a fact that could have caused shock and distrust if stated directly.
I soften the ground for her heart with my past story to prepare for a gentle landing.
“So what is it?”
“It’s about atonement.”
I looked at her with a serious face.
It’s a reason not stemming from superficial relationships but from the true essence of Kang Yoon-ho.
I confess it before her.
“Atonement?”
“Because I couldn’t stand by my friend who needed help until the end. I feel like if I stay by your side, I can atone for that.”
I looked at her with a silent apology in my eyes.
“……”
“Honestly, I struggled with it at first. Is this really atonement? Plus, there were practical problems tied to it. But you know what? Funny enough, the moment you pushed me away, I saw my friend in you. I needed someone by my side, but there you were, foolishly pushing me away. That’s when I decided. I wanted to help you.”
To ensure I wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
Kang Yoon-ho would come running back to Lady Tang no matter what she said.
I continued talking as she remained silent.
“I initially said it was purely goodwill. But in thinking about it, it wasn’t about helping you as a recovery method; it was for my selfish reasons.”
I spoke with a confession-like tone, unable to bear looking directly at her face.
Of course, the desire to atone cannot be deemed selfish.
I couldn’t say I had lied to her.
My reasons for helping her stem from my goodwill toward both my friend and her.
I merely aim to deepen those reasons by including my character’s atonement.
But what if she knows all this yet remains in a passive, melancholy state?
“Hey. Lift your head up. Who says this is selfish?”
I took her hand and helped her stand.
She will come to genuinely recognize my goodwill.
“Thank you for thinking that way. And I’m sorry for not revealing it until now.”
“Who can share such intimate stories with someone they just met?”
She kept silent for a moment and then spoke to me.
That’s right, so I planned to drop hints after our travel.
Lady Tang, now that you know the inner workings of my character, stop doubting. Doubt only makes both of us weary.
It’s truly hard to make it to Yichang comfortably.
I nodded to her and silently lay back down on the bed.
*
A bird thrown out of its cage.
Lady Tang felt as though her world had crumbled after being expelled from the Seong Family.
The fence that had protected her for a lifetime vanished, exposing her to the scorn and disdain of others.
The poison technique she had mastered turned out to be a martial art that could kill her, and those she trusted turned out to be people trying to use her.
A fallen, ugly bird unable to flutter its wings. Yet there was a man extending his hand for that bird.
Kang Yoon-ho. A strange man.
He treated every problem arising from her as insignificant.
When someone looked at her unmasked face, they would frown at her chin first. Yet he naturally looked into her eyes.
He treated her ordinarily.
No, by treating her ordinarily, he made her feel more special than anyone else.
Since it was the first time in Lady Tang’s life that she had received such goodwill, it felt comfortable, yet somehow like wearing an ill-fitting outfit.
Those who have never properly received goodwill become distrustful and suspicious of others.
That’s why, although she heard Kang Yoon-ho’s valid reasons, she constantly doubted his goodwill and sought other motives during their journey.
‘Could it be a peculiar preference?’
Lady Tang had overheard her servants gossip about it. Many men in the world have incomprehensible tastes.
Is he feeling lust for her face? Or is he drawn to her body?
When they slept in the same bed, that thought inevitably exploded.
‘Did he really see me that way?’
What should she do? Suddenly grasping her chest in the middle of the night, should she let out a sound like a maiden or resolutely sever his hand?
Worries. Anxieties. Restlessness. A sleepless night.
However, the events Lady Tang imagined that night did not occur. Unbeknownst to her regarding the feelings she harbored, he comfortably slept until dawn.
‘What’s so good about this man that he would think of me that way?’
Lady Tang felt relief, yet a strange dissatisfaction brewed in her heart, prompting her to glare at the man for the rest of the morning.
It wasn’t about lust for her. Judging by his social skills, he didn’t seem to assist her for money.
Then is it really all there is to his words?
“Hey, what’s your real reason for traveling with me?”
Why does this man keep helping her? What does he truly think of her?
Wanting to find out, she questioned him.
Once all was said and done, what Lady Tang felt after hearing everything wasn’t anger or even emotion.
It was envy.
Lady Tang felt an intense envy toward someone who wasn’t present.
Kang Yoon-ho might not understand it, but as a fellow master of poison, she grasped the decision of a friend.
The skin she wished to hide. She wondered if she would someday wither away and, in her last moments, force her friend to witness her agonizing death.
Had it been herself, she wouldn’t have wanted to reveal that final sight. Yet, this man was pained for a lifetime solely because he couldn’t protect that last moment.
He wished to help, even if he faced grave danger from a stranger of the poison clan.
Kang Yoon-ho claimed it wasn’t pure goodwill but selfishness.
That’s absurd.
The feelings and relationship they shared were precisely what she had longed for. How could this act of helping her, stemming from that relationship, possibly be selfish?
‘If only I had met Kang Yoon-ho first.’
If, rather than his friend, he had met her as a child, would her life have altered even a little?
Why didn’t she have such a friend?
“Hey, Kang Yoon-ho.”
Lady Tang called out to the lonely and still Kang Yoon-ho, burdened by guilt.
“What?”
“You don’t seem pure of heart.”
“I know.”
“…… But I don’t think I am either.”
“Really?”
“Damn, I’m acting delusional here. Let’s just sleep and head out tomorrow.”
Cowardice. She felt cowardice welling up.
If such a wounded man existed, wouldn’t she be able to approach him?
Could the trust suggested by this man be earned through their shared endeavors?
‘Then instead of his friend, I could…’
That’s an impure thought.
Seeking to fill the void left by someone else’s heart’s wounds isn’t pure.
Yet, she surprisingly felt a seed of warm hope leftover.
*
In the office of the Head of the Seong Family in Daeheung County.
In there stood the restless Seong Se-hwi and a man.
“It’s been a while.”
Seong Se-hwi awkwardly smiled, desperately trying to hide the cold sweat trickling down his back.
“Where have you been?”
The man spoke with indifference, yet fury radiated as he questioned Seong Se-hwi.
“Haha. Well, it’s…”
Seong Se-hwi gazed at the man with a flustered expression.
The man’s demeanor resembled that of a tiger, but strangely, his face looked more like that of a massive viper.
Seong Se-hwi had never anticipated this man would appear here.
With purple hair and green eyes.
The man’s name was…
“Where is Lady Tang?”
He was Tang Geoh from the Sichuan Tang Family.
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