“I’m so, so sorry….”
To be honest, I still don’t know what I did wrong.
Being of mixed Korean and Japanese descent is not a crime, and I’ve never felt dissatisfied about it.
And it probably isn’t the reason why Tateyama is angry with me.
Of course, she might have started avoiding me due to some prejudice that cropped up.
However, from what I’ve seen of Tateyama so far, she doesn’t seem like the type to get mad and avoid someone over such things.
I may not have much to say if I’m told I misjudged her, but the fact that I know Tateyama is not that kind of person is important.
In other words, there must be a valid reason for her to be mad at me right now.
…But I don’t know what that reason is.
I’m socially awkward and have difficulties with human relationships.
Things I take for granted might not be common sense, and that fact could hurt someone.
Thus, I had no choice but to apologize.
Not knowing what I did wrong might be a bigger mistake, but it’s all I can do right now.
“I’m sorry….”
“…Huh?”
Tateyama looks at me, seemingly flustered.
Well, of course. If the cause of her enormous upset comes to talk to her, even if it’s to apologize, it’s only natural that her feelings would get worse.
The thought made me feel even more guilty, and I began to tremble all over.
“I-I’m sorry for what I did….”
“W-Wait, Kayanoh?! What did you do wrong?”
…I see. Tateyama is really that angry.
Even if I’m a social outcast with few relationships, I’ve learned a thing or two from long community life.
One of those is when a girl is angry.
‘What did you do wrong?’
This phrase really implies that the person feels hurt and also asks if you really understand your fault.
If you understand your mistake, it leads to, ‘So you did it knowing that?’ and if you don’t know, it leads to, ‘Why are you apologizing if you don’t even know?’
Metaphorically speaking, it’s an ‘undeniable defeat event.’
What kind of huge sin did I commit against Tateyama?
If she’s saying that, then I must have committed an unforgivable sin.
“I’m so sorry, really sorry….”
Realizing I’ve come to a point of no return, emotions began to boil up inside me.
I shouldn’t be crying… But why am I crying over this? If anything, it’s probably Tateyama who wants to cry right now.
“I-I… I’m sorry….”
I wiped away my tears that were about to flow and continued to apologize.
Then, Tateyama looked around, seemingly flustered and restless.
Thinking back, if I’m crying in this situation, it would make it look like Tateyama did something wrong.
“Kayanoh! Let’s move to another place to talk. Okay?”
“…Yeah.”
In the end, it’s me who causes Tateyama to be considerate, leaving her with a burden until the very end.
I really shouldn’t have come on this school trip….
My guilt began to increase further.
★
Ba….
“Got it? Okay? Kayanoh hasn’t really done anything wrong. I was just being jealous on my own….”
Am I an idiot…?!
An emotion rose all the way to my head. That emotion was embarrassment.
When I casually turned my gaze, I noticed Tateyama’s face was flushed red.
But my face was definitely much redder.
How stupid am I to jump to conclusions without properly checking the situation?
How foolish can one act.
“Haha…. Sorry, Kayanoh. You must have had a hard time because of me.”
“Ugh….”
I knew from the beginning that Tateyama wasn’t that kind of person, so why did I jump to conclusions and act? I could’ve asked her first.
At times like this, I truly felt frustrated with my communication level being so hopelessly low.
“It’s just embarrassing…. I’m not a child, and I feel ridiculous thinking I was jealous over something weird….”
It’s okay, Tateyama. I’m way more embarrassed.
Our trivial misunderstanding was resolved.
“…Did something happen between you two?”
Between Tateyama and me, an awkward atmosphere lingered for a while.
Can this really be considered a good thing…?
★
[Koga Suzuha: Enjoying the school trip? You’ll be back tomorrow.]
[Kainoh Izumi: Just arrived at the accommodation. I’m incredibly tired….]
[Koga Suzuha: All of this will become a memory later on.]
[Koga Suzuha: Since it’s the only high school trip, let’s have as much fun as we can until the end.]
“Is that so….”
Instead of memories, it feels like I’ve just created a bunch of embarrassing moments.
But time felt like it was passing by quickly.
It was already the end of the second day’s schedule, and the trip would end tomorrow.
“Ha….”
Lying on my bed, I quietly stared at the ceiling.
I was alone in the room.
Tateyama, Onodera, and Tokuhara were gathered in the accommodation plaza, playing with other classmates.
They had invited me to join, but I declined, claiming I was too tired.
It wasn’t that I felt burdened to be in a crowded place. I was genuinely tired.
“…Is this the last one?”
Tomorrow, we can roam around as we please.
Of course, most will stay with the groups they’ve been with today, but I had already requested to go off alone tomorrow.
Onodera had asked if she could come along, sounding disappointed, but I shook my head and turned her down.
The place I wanted to go wasn’t somewhere I could bring someone.
My plan was simple.
Just to go there, check if my mom and that guy are doing well, and come back.
If they’ve moved, then there’s nothing to be done, and I’d have to give up.
I had no intention of foolishly asking the current residents where they moved to.
After all, I am just Kayanoh Mina, a 17-year-old high school girl in Japan.
“Kayanoh, are you sleeping?”
After reaffirming that decision in my heart and rolling around in bed, the door creaked open, and I heard Tateyama’s voice.
“Oh, no, I’m not asleep yet.”
In response, Tateyama walked into the room and leaned against my bed.
“I thought you’d be asleep since you said you were tired earlier.”
“I don’t feel sleepy….”
“…Then how about we go to the plaza together? Everyone wants to talk to you.”
“Uh….”
Naturally, I was going to refuse the offer again.
But suddenly, something tugged at my heart.
[Koga Suzuha: All of this will become a memory later on.]
Memory.
Could this trip genuinely become a memory for me in the future?
Thinking back, I had only focused on one goal since going on this trip.
Honestly, enjoying the trip was secondary.
…Is this really okay?
[Koga Suzuha: Since it’s the only high school trip, let’s have as much fun as we can until the end.]
Am I really prioritizing connections from my previous life over this once-in-a-lifetime high school trip while claiming to be Kayanoh Mina, a 17-year-old high school girl in Japan?
If I’m feeling burdened about sharing conversations on this trip, I should have never come in the first place.
“Kayanoh?”
“…Yeah. I’ll go with you. But… I’m really tired, so I’m just going to listen. Is that okay…?”
“Really?! That’s fine, that’s fine! The important thing is just to be together!”
Tateyama beamed with gratitude at my response.
…Right. What matters is whether we can talk or not.
As Tateyama said, being together during these times is the most important thing to look back on as a memory later.
So, like Koga said, let’s have as much fun as we can until the end.
Because this is a once-in-a-lifetime high school trip.
I thought as I got up with Tateyama.
“…You seriously don’t take care of yourself at all? Almost never use lotion…?”
“Ah…. W-Well…”
“Unbelievable…. How can you be so soft despite that?”
“Ugh…!”
Why did I come here?
Thinking back, it wasn’t that I should have never come on the trip; it was that I was almost forced to by my mom and company who wouldn’t let me stay home.
So why, what made me so confident to think about memories and all?
Am I really such an idiot…?
“Soft, smooth, warm… You smell so good, Kayanoh….”
“W-Wait?!”
Maybe because of yesterday’s experience in the bath.
The girls in my class who gathered around didn’t stop fiddling with my body.
I tried glaring at them to protest, but for some reason, no one stopped or even tried to intervene.
Are insiders this powerful…?
I couldn’t help but despair at the reality I couldn’t overcome and had to give up everything….
“Ugh?!”
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