“Today, I’m thinking of going to karaoke together for a Christmas party, so let’s go!”
“…Ugh?”
Christmas party?
Are you talking about that thing I can only see in manga, anime, or light novels, where the popular kids gather to have a blast just because it’s Christmas?
Even in my previous life, before I regained my memories, and even after I got them back, that was something I had nothing to do with at all?
“Um, um….”
“I’ve already made reservations for the karaoke and everything!”
“Um, um, Miyauchi…?”
Could you reconsider?
If I go, it’s clear that the atmosphere will become super awkward since I’m the only classmate who hasn’t met anyone socially for a year.
I’ll probably feel like “Why can’t I gauge my distance from others?” because I don’t even have friends in class, right?
I’ve never participated in any group activities, and I’ll become that awkward person who just intrudes for no reason on Christmas?
“W-well, um….”
“Do you have plans today, by any chance?”
“Well, not really….”
“Then did I do something wrong?”
“N-no, that’s not it….”
There’s no way I, a loner, would have had plans on Christmas, right, Miyauchi?
And while it’s not wrong right now, if I go and ruin the party’s vibe, it might all fall on you, Miyauchi!
Ah, maybe you want to see a loner like me flounder at a party?
Is Miyauchi joining the ranks of the bullies alongside my supportive players?
“….”
Miyauchi’s gaze is piercing.
The way she softly reached out to me, as if hoping I wouldn’t turn her down, was so pitiful that I almost nodded unknowingly.
“Um, um, I’ll just take a quick trip to the bathroom and decide after.”
“Oh, sure! Take your time!”
Honestly, if my heart had its way, I would pretend to go to the bathroom and run home, but instinct was screaming that I shouldn’t do that right now.
“Haah….”
What should I do?
Sitting on the toilet pondering, the answer was obviously not coming to my mind.
So, I had no choice but to ask for help from my best ally, Koga.
[Izumi Kainoh: Koga, big trouble.]
[Suzuha Koga: What’s up?]
When I sent a DM to Koga about the missed code, a response came back almost immediately.
As expected, it’s Kogamon!
[Izumi Kainoh: A classmate suggested going to a Christmas party together.]
[Izumi Kainoh: What should I do? Please help me.]
[Suzuha Koga: …? Just go and have fun.]
[Izumi Kainoh: My presence might be the whole point of the gathering.]
[Suzuha Koga: Don’t say silly things. Just go have a good time.]
[Suzuha Koga: Besides, there’s the 8 PM broadcast tonight.]
As expected, popular kids don’t understand the feelings of loners.
Usually, she speaks as if she can read my thoughts; why is she so clueless at a time like this, Koga?
…Or maybe she’s teasing me on purpose, knowing what I think?
If that’s the case, Koga is a real devil….
[Suzuha Koga: You’re so caught.]
“Eek….”
[Suzuha Koga: Well, if Izumi really doesn’t want to go, you can just refuse, you know?]
[Suzuha Koga: But still, since someone suggested it, I think it would be fine to go.]
[Suzuha Koga: You’ve been in the same class for three years, haven’t you?]
[Suzuha Koga: Wouldn’t it be better to get closer starting now?]
“Ugh….”
Koga’s words were undeniably right.
If I were to change classes in the second year next year, I would have fled without hesitation, but our school has the same class for three years.
If I run away now, I have no idea what might happen after winter break.
[Izumi Kainoh: …I’ll go.]
[Suzuha Koga: Let me know when you get home.]
[Izumi Kainoh: Okay…]
I hope it wasn’t just a joke to tease me….
★
The streets at Christmas are bustling.
With carols ringing, sparkling decorations, and various events commemorating Christmas.
They were flashy yet chaotic, proving that people were having a good time.
In other words, it’s a scene completely unrelated to me.
“I’ve never gone out like this with Kayanoh!”
“I’m looking forward to it!”
“Ha ha….”
The excited chatters of my classmates.
Awkward. I have no idea what kind of reaction they want from me.
But I have a secret weapon I can use in situations like this.
The very technique that made me the ultimate time killer.
Reciting the Heart Sutra quietly in my head.
Mahaprajnaparamita.
Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, when practicing deep prajnaparamita, clearly saw that all five skandhas are empty and was liberated from all suffering and distress….
“Ah, we’ve arrived.”
“…Eh?”
By the time I recited the Heart Sutra about three times, we had arrived at the karaoke.
There was a Christmas tree and a colorful sign in front, celebrating the holiday, listing all sorts of event details.
From discounts to benefits you get by signing up as a member.
Of course, it had nothing to do with me, so I was hardly interested.
“All rooms from A to D are booked by our class. You can go to whichever you want and have fun!”
At Miyauchi’s words, everyone in the class began to move to find their close friends.
Me? Naturally, I headed straight into the front room, A, without hesitation.
I didn’t want to be left behind and end up being the only one alone, making everyone uncomfortable.
Rather, it would be better to get a brief look like, ‘Oh, you were already in here alone?’ for a moment.
Not everyone would come into this room anyway.
“Oh, Kayanoh’s here!”
“Really!”
The one who entered calling my name was none other than our class’s top popular girl, Tateyama.
Following her in were… who are they?
Looking at the name tags, the order was Tokuhara, Onodera, and Hayase.
Are they the friends Tateyama mentioned during summer break in Akihabara?
“Hey, Kayanoh!”
“It’s the first time seeing you all together like this, right?”
“You must have had your reasons for not coming before.”
“Right. You learn how to respect others.”
“If someone hears that, they’ll think I said something mean!”
With a storm of talk coming at me nonstop, I lowered my gaze and quietly nodded my head.
Even I, who cleared Arcana Shooter Purgatory and leveled up, couldn’t handle their immense communication skills.
In front of them, I felt like a mouse trembling in front of a cat.
Is this what being a true popular JK is?
What was I doing on my broadcasts…?
“Kayanoh, do you want to sing first? You were in here the earliest, after all.”
“Uh, uh, well, I’m okay….”
It’s not that I lack confidence in singing.
In fact, I’m rather confident in my singing.
In my previous life, I used to go to karaoke alone often, and now I’m a lovely girl in a different body!
If I were to sing now, I’m sure there would be reactions like, ‘…What’s that voice?’ popping up.
Still, there are two reasons I’m not taking the mic.
First, I was 100% sure I would throw up singing under their gaze.
Second, the songs I can sing aren’t really the kind popular kids would sing.
I knew from my long internet experience that singing anime OSTs among the popular kids would totally kill the mood.
I don’t feel ashamed of being an otaku, but at least in gatherings like these, I can sense some awareness.
“Should we sing first, then?”
“Yeah….”
It’s not even about singing first; they could continue singing while I just sit here and become one with the chair, killing time….
★
“Kayanoh.”
“…Eek.”
When I snapped back to reality at the call, Tateyama was singing, and Miyauchi was seated next to me.
“Are you having fun? I feel sorry if I dragged you here against your will….”
“Oh, no, um, it’s just that… I’ve never really came to these gatherings before….”
To be honest, I wished to get home as quickly as possible, but I couldn’t say that in front of the caring Miyauchi.
“Aren’t you going to sing?”
“Uh, oh, no….”
“That’s a shame.”
What’s so shameful about it?
Are you trying to tease me if I sing badly?
If that’s the case, I might be a bit sad.
“Um, Miyauchi, aren’t you with your friends?….”
“Oh, I’m just keeping an eye out in case anything happens.”
“Really.”
“But Kayanoh, you always go home early, so we hardly get a chance for a private conversation like this.”
“I’m sorry….”
If I had friends, I would stay behind in class and chat like that.
But sadly, I’m a pro loner who cares about time and efficiency.
Even if I stay in class, there’s nothing to do, so I can’t waste time like that.
I want to get home as quickly as possible to read comics, play games, and prepare for my broadcasts.
…Saying it like that makes me sound really diligent, doesn’t it?
“No, I’m grateful just for you coming today despite all the hard work you must have gone through, Kayanoh.”
Hard work…?
True, all the students at school are tired and stressed beings.
“You too, Miyauchi, must always have a lot to deal with….”
I can only imagine how annoying it must be to look after even a loner like me because you’re the class representative.
Even if I want to say, “I’m an innocent loner, so you don’t have to worry about me!” it must be hard to say from the position of class rep.
“Especially because of me….”
“…Huh? No!”
At my words, Miyauchi flinched and stood up in surprise.
The force of it made me instinctively shrink back, naturally drawing the gaze of our other classmates over here.
“I’m always the one receiving consideration from you, Kayanoh…!”
“…Eh?”
Consideration?
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