When the stage began, Natsune was wearing an outfit like nothing I’d ever seen before.
It wasn’t the seven stars she’d worn since her debut broadcast, nor was it the starry night that celebrated her birthday.
Rather, it was a pure white dress paired with black stockings, the complete opposite of the starry night.
At her chest, a decoration shaped like a star in platinum blonde color shimmered, and a thin red ribbon wrapped around her waist.
[Even on a dark night, the stars still shine.]
“…So beautiful.”
I mumbled that without even realizing it.
Her dancing and singing in her new outfit on the radiant stage made her the idol she’d always talked about.
For me, it was an overwhelmingly dazzling sight.
[So don’t hesitate, just move forward.]
Just like the lyrics of the song, there was no hesitation in Natsune’s movements.
It was obvious why that was possible without even saying it.
Unlike me, who did not even try, she had built her skills with relentless effort and believed in that effort.
[No matter how tough it gets, even if you want to collapse, it will eventually pass.]
It was truly a shining stage.
The gorgeous lights and excellent band sound blended together, creating a stage you couldn’t take your eyes off of.
But the one shining the brightest among it all didn’t even need to be mentioned.
[If it’s too hard to get back up on your own, I’ll reach out my hand to you.]
As the highlight of the song passed and the upbeat band sound gradually calmed, the end was drawing near.
And at that moment, a multitude of lights focused solely on Natsune.
[I am your idol.]
With that final line, the first stage came to an end.
Natsune was reaching out her hand towards us, just like the lyrics said.
Her bright smile as she stretched out her hand was…
[Hurry up and apologize to everyone and graduate.]
[The members who are stuck with her are the real victims.]
[The worst VTuber in history.]
Unlike me, who was alone in a dark room, she shone so brightly.
“I don’t want to…”
I wanted to close my eyes.
★
Next, Natsune took the stage to perform the title track “Milky Way” from her first album “The Great Triangle of Summer,” released on June 30 in celebration of her birthday.
The screen went completely dark before slowly brightening again, showcasing the now quiet stage.
[Wow! Finally a 1st anniversary! How’s everyone doing? Are you having fun?!]
In the MC part that began like that, Natsune was still smiling brightly.
[I’m reading all the chatroom, so don’t worry and say whatever you want!]
—I’m really touched.
[Wow, as expected, right? After all, I’m an idol, everyone’s idol!]
Clap clap, went Natsune’s applause.
That was clearly the kind of ease shown only by someone who had worked hard for their dream.
[Hmm, by the way, how was the first song? It’s a new song being revealed today in the live!]
—It was amazing!
—The lyrics are so touching!
—Is there a PV too?
[Hehe. I’m really glad you all liked it. I wanted to sing this song for the first time at the first anniversary live. Oh, the PV? It’ll be released after today’s live, at 9:30!]
Her breath was slightly heavy, but her bright voice sounded completely unfazed.
Watching her talk like that, I unwittingly left a chat.
—Aren’t you struggling?
Of course, it wasn’t from Izumi Kainoh’s account.
I always used my personal account when watching other broadcasts.
And in the first place, the countless chats were going by at an incredible speed, so I never thought Natsune would see it.
“…What am I doing?”
Just go to sleep.
Well, at least I’ve watched this far, so it’s fine to say I’ve kept my promise.
I’ll definitely watch again when I’ve calmed down…
As I was making excuses to myself, I tried to take off my headphones.
But.
[…Aren’t you struggling? Hmm, actually, I wanted to talk a little about that today.]
Like fate, it seemed Natsune had read that chat.
[Right now, I’m really struggling. I’m sweating a lot, and my breath is really fast! But!]
Natsune slowly took a breath and spoke clearly.
[That’s what makes it so enjoyable.]
The high-pitched voice from just a moment ago instantaneously changed to a low and serious tone.
“Enjoyable…?”
My mind went blank as I whispered back to her.
[Do you know? I was really weak? When I was a kid, I could barely be under the sunlight for even 30 minutes. Being able to dance and sing like this now is all thanks to joining Star’s Flow and diligently exercising and practicing.]
Then she abruptly started recalling her past.
—? Suddenly?
—Really?
The chatroom seemed to be struggling to keep up with Natsune’s flow, filled with questions.
[Yes, really! The extremely frail me happened to see idol videos on YouTube and got a dream. But they said that if my body is this weak, being an idol with a rigorous daily schedule would be difficult. Still, I didn’t want to give up. The idols I admired were the ones who brightened the stage with a smile, no matter how tough it got.]
But Natsune continued speaking without a care.
[Then I found out about the virtual YouTuber industry. I could do almost everything indoors without having to go out. So I thought, maybe I could be an idol too! Without hesitation, I went to Star’s Flow, which was holding auditions at the time. But even though there was a lot of indoor activity, being unhealthy was definitely not a plus at the company. I spent so much time in the hospital as a kid that I knew nothing about the world. I almost didn’t get accepted.]
‘There was a lot of division when choosing Natsune Nanase.’
That was definitely something I’d heard from my mom.
[But in the end, I’m here now. There have been so many tough times, and I’ve heard a lot of backlash. But right now, being able to sing and dance here in front of you all is genuinely… so enjoyable and happy.]
In reality, Natsune’s broadcasts had faced a lot of criticism in the beginning.
They said she lacked broadcasting sense. Didn’t know common sense. Didn’t understand society. Just nodding her head doesn’t mean everyone will like her. How could such a girl be the company’s first promoted VTuber? Clearly a disaster, among other things.
The malice directed at Natsune was immense, rivaling the criticism I had received in the past week.
[So the new song revealed at the first stage is… um, I’m not sure if I should say this, but it’s a song I wrote for my juniors.]
“…Huh?”
[While being a VTuber, you’ll probably face a lot of tough situations. You might hear bad things when you’ve done nothing wrong. You’ll definitely feel exhausted.]
However, Natsune continued speaking.
[But don’t give up. Even on the darkest nights, there are shining stars, and everything will eventually come to an end. If it feels hard enough to want to give up despite knowing that, just look at me. Honestly, I’ve been through struggles that can’t even compare to yours, yet here I am smiling! Hehe.]
—That’s true. Natsune has really been through a lot.
[Exactly! Despite being a sickly cute idol, it was super hard!]
Something indescribable welled up in my chest.
[So you can see and follow along, I’ll always be running ahead. I’ll shine brightly in front of you, so you’ll never be able to lose sight of me! I am your idol!]
Negative thoughts don’t just disappear easily.
So once you start thinking like that, it’s best to shake it off as quickly as possible.
But that’s never an easy task and usually requires a trigger.
[So next time, let’s stand on this stage together. Got it? It’s a promise!]
And for me in the past, that trigger was none other than you.
★
Last year, in my third year of middle school.
No friends, and my homeroom teacher was making a fuss, saying she’d correct my personality.
My mom was practically out of town every day, and I had felt a bit awkward with my sister back then.
That period must have been the hardest time for me as I regained my memories from my previous life.
Games seemed boring, I lost interest in drawing, and YouTube and anime felt tedious.
The helplessness stemming from stress fed back into more stress in a vicious cycle.
I’d come home, sit at my computer doing nothing, and then lie down in bed.
Then one day.
I saw a broadcast setting titled “First Broadcast! Please take care of me!” on YouTube, and I clicked on it as if entranced.
The broadcaster, or more accurately, the VTuber’s name was Natsune Nanase.
At first, I was drawn in by her appearance.
But it wasn’t long before I saw beyond just her looks.
The more I watched your broadcasts, the more you truly became my idol.
Even when faced with malicious tricks from viewers, you responded kindly, able to smile brightly despite the struggles caused by Yeo-sang; you were undoubtedly my admiration.
Wanting to be like you, I found the strength to rise again.
I made the decision to attend a high-achieving private high school and start anew.
…Well, the latter ultimately failed.
But still, I had a decent conversation with Tateyama during the break, and I even made a friend, Koga.
And that was all because of you, Natsune.
Some might say I was too overly invested in an internet broadcast.
They might scoff that such a thing can’t help me overcome my feelings.
But even the smallest of things can be a trigger to shake off negative thoughts.
Everything begins with one small thing.
★
[So next time, let’s stand on this stage together. Got it? It’s a promise!]
“…Yes.”
There I was, nodding with tears streaming down my face.
Of course, I knew Natsune wouldn’t hear me, but I had a feeling that she might.
Because Natsune is my idol.
[Wow, it’s such a fun day, but I’ve droned on about heavy topics for too long! I’m sorry everyone!]
—Are you sure you’re not just dragging it out because it’s too hard?
[Ah, you got me! So let’s go straight to the next song! Everyone ready?!]
The chatroom suddenly ignited in a positive way.
Everyone was cheering for her, and naturally, I was part of that crowd.
Swallowing the desire to stand on that stage with Natsune someday…
[I’m going! The next song is Stardust!]
I quietly soaked in the dazzlingly beautiful sight.
★
[Then everyone, goodbye! Let’s meet again! Thank you all! I love you!]
With those final words, Natsune’s 1st anniversary live came to an end.
“Haah…”
Still, the malice of people was terrifying.
But now, I wouldn’t just sit idle anymore.
Because my idol, shining for me, is out in front of me.
Even if I’m scared, I will move forward now.
“…First, I should contact Koga.”
I wanted to thank Koga for being worrying and somewhat perceptive about my situation.
And I needed to apologize for breaking our promises too many times.
So after sending a DM filled with such feelings to Koga, I once again replayed Natsune’s live video.
And an hour later.
“You idiot! Don’t scare people like that!”
“Uh, h-huh? I, I just wanted to say, th-thank you, so…”
“Why are you saying thanks in such a manner?!”
For some reason, I got scolded heavily by Koga, who had shown up in the middle of the night.
…What on earth?
★
[Izumi Kainoh: Thank you so much for everything, Koga.]
[Koga Suzuha: Izumi? What’s wrong?]
[Koga Suzuha: Izumi? Answer me. Hurry.]
[Koga Suzuha: Don’t tell me you’re thinking something strange?]
[Koga Suzuha: Izumi?!]
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