Chapter: 182. The Answer That Doesn’t Return
Holding a silver ball, I quietly left the Association.
Since I was out, I could have met Oxymoron or Hyunseok to chat, but I just didn’t feel like it. Soon, I exited the Association immediately.
And then, I walked down the street, dazed.
Aimlessly, just following where my feet led me.
I don’t even know why I’m doing this.
No one died, and everything turned out well.
Didn’t the Librarian say so?
That she was okay.
Then what is this weight on my heart?
The Librarian sacrificed herself?
No. It’s not that.
Sacrifice is a given.
If something like that had really happened, of course, I would have been furious and cried my eyes out.
But I wouldn’t be in this state of not knowing why.
Then, did the Librarian become something other than human?
That’s not it either.
Such a situation refers to the Thunder God or the Divine One.
I’ve already been through it myself and sorted out my feelings.
Then, could it be because of that?
The bomb stuck right in the center of the Librarian’s body.
Is that why the past is coming back to me?
Maybe it is.
But it’s not just because of simple trauma.
I must have recalled some thoughts.
Thoughts that shouldn’t have come back.
The bomb in the Librarian’s chest.
The transmitter on the feet or neck of the Awakeners.
False training for humanity.
Exploitation for humanity.
An endless battlefield.
Truthfully. Didn’t we change anything at all?
The mere fact that such questions arose in my heart. As those thoughts moved forward, I could finally understand my feelings.
But what should I do now?
Soviet has changed.
Awakeners are treated better.
The perception of Heroes has started to change, even if just a bit.
Really just a little.
Everything has changed only slightly.
That’s how society works.
With the power I have, I could only change a little after spending countless time.
There are exceptions, though.
I smiled bitterly, recalling past events.
The background of establishing the Association. The purge operation.
Thunder God.
Just a single shock could change society.
And I have that power.
My hammer.
If it’s pure power, it’s immense enough not to lose to anyone on Earth.
If I wield that power, I could crush society.
Yeah. It’s that simple— thud.
And then I stopped my steps.
An alley between the streets.
A place where no one would see.
I pushed myself into it, wobbling until I reached a spot where I couldn’t hear the noise around me.
How long has it been?
Once the height of the buildings blocked out the bustling city sounds.
“Are you crazy, Haram Lee?”
I blurted that out.
I thumped my head hard.
Clenching my fist, I hit my head so hard that both got damaged.
Dark, sticky blood flowed down over my eyes.
The skin of the impacted hand peeled off, causing blood to erupt.
Still, that wasn’t enough.
“Just.”
BANG.
“Think!”
BANG.
“About it!”
BANG.
I continued to hit myself over and over again.
My vision blurred, and emotions faded from my hands, but I didn’t stop the self-harm.
What was the reason I acted as the Black Marauder?
What was the reason for recruiting Yumil?
Wasn’t it to get away from such means?
BANG. BANG. BANG.
Blood splattered on the alley wall, pieces of me fell apart, but my reason remained intact.
As if my body and thoughts were entirely unrelated.
My vision turned rusty.
My hand bones dislocated.
Even if my head is shattered.
My thoughts wouldn’t be affected =
How long have I been blaming myself?
“Cough. Ri.”
Finally, I stopped punching and took out a metal stick from my chest.
A cold rod with remnants of teeth marks.
I bit it and leaned my red-stained body against the building wall.
It’s damp…
That was my first thought after leaning against the wall.
Could it be due to the moss? Or the humidity filling this place?
Or maybe it’s my blood?
Without the desire to confirm, I quietly closed my eyes and licked the metal rod with my tongue.
The cold, creepy feel conveyed through my delicate tongue.
As I accepted it, my heart began to calm down little by little.
The rage that was burning me out couldn’t find any more reasons to continue and began to subside.
Through my closed eyes, light peeking through the darkness began to dim my pain.
Perhaps my body is recovering from this.
As if nothing was there.
Yeah. Nothing happened.
I didn’t think such thoughts,
I’ve never patted my own body.
Let’s think that way.
After promising myself that.
Slowly, I withdrew the metal rod from my mouth and tucked it away.
At that moment.
Ping.
The sound of two metals clashing softly echoed deep into the alley.
The metallic sound of my stick meeting the reality stabilizer.
Thanks to that, I could remember what to do next.
…Should I go see Al’sel?
If I complained to that brat, I could erase the last embers left in my heart.
Usually, it would be something I should do for Unho, but since he seems to be loved by his own students,
Al’sel is just right for this time.
Wasn’t it because of that damned job that I went through all these emotions?
So, that’s it. I’m going to pay a visit to Al’sel.
Making my next destination decided, I took one last look back at the alley.
Covered in darkness and humidity, the back alley now looked like a murder scene with blood splattered all around.
Yeah, nothing ever happened.
My thoughts and actions were all washed away in that blood.
Slowly. That is enough.
I will continue to live on.
Someday. I will be able to change things.
Slowly. Again slowly.
With that, I moved my steps slowly.
Guided by the Tiger Monster, I entered Al’sel’s room.
Today, there was a dish with ice, salt, and olives on the table, probably for sipping some drinks.
And across the table sat a displeased Octopus.
“Why do you come so often these days?”
‘Are you here to feast on me again?’
“And you are being informal with me now?”
My head is already a mess; if you keep it up, I might explode.
Well, I wanted to threaten him like that.
But I decided to contain my anger quietly and sat on the sofa across from him, thinking that I shouldn’t blow up and then get told he wouldn’t tell me anything.
“Do you remember what you said a while ago?”
“Are you going to the Otherworld suicide tour?”
That damned suicide tour.
“Right, you told me to bring a reality stabilizer from there.”
“Yeah, I mentioned that. Well, now you know. The item written there is probably so idiotic that even you might struggle to retrieve it…”
‘I think he has already given up though?’
The Octopus pretended to munch on ice, dipping it in salt and throwing it into its mouth.
An appetizer without alcohol…
Well, that doesn’t really matter.
…Is this idiot trying to make me give up by asking for such a ridiculous thing?
Or is it really that a certain level of output can’t survive in the Otherworld?
Either way, I don’t care.
I have what that brat requested in my arms.
“Here. I have the reality stabilizer you asked for.”
So, I took out the silver ball from my arms and placed it on his appetizer plate.
An adult fist-sized, silver ball.
There are buttons and strange patterns carved into it here and there, but it could be considered almost a perfect sphere.
Reflected on its shiny surface was Al’sel’s face that had turned bluish.
“Reality stabilizer…?”
“Yeah.”
“Output of 1.5mNol, range of 0.3Tac…”
“Probably?”
“Duration of 93… days?”
“That sounds about right. I don’t know, but the one I got this from said so.”
I still don’t know if that Zeta worm understands anything.
“Just how did you get it? Did you break into the depths of the Association’s seal to get something like that?”
‘Where did this come from?’
Al’sel shook with a visibly flustered expression, starting to spray gross slime around the room with his tentacles.
His way of speaking was one thing, but the chaos was so filthy that it didn’t even matter how much he was flailing about.
“I just asked you to make it normally.”
“Not that the technology is the issue. What about the power source? Do you have a miniature solar or black hole engine?”
Look at this guy?
He really tried to get something like that by saying he couldn’t procure it.
“Um… It’s probably a Zero…”
“I wasn’t able to deploy an Otherworld Invasion, but since it’s designated public property, I used his heart as a power source.”
Really, the standards for his Zero-Rank are ambiguous.
“No, a heart that can’t deploy an Otherworld Invasion shouldn’t have that kind of energy. You need to confirm right now…”
Al’sel looked incredibly flustered, quickly uttering words and summoning a magic wand in the air.
“Analyze, interpret, discern.”
Quickly reciting words, he began to draw a magic circle.
By that time, about one second had passed.
The magic circle gleamed black.
When the darkened magic circle shattered and began to disappear into the air.
“Ha… Hahahahahaha…”
Al’sel began laughing as if he’d gone insane.
His usual cheerful mask had been peeled away, revealing a face that looked genuinely shocked.
“Uh… Are you okay?”
That transformation was so amazing that I ended up concerned about this Octopus.
“Yeah? Am I okay? I’m better than okay!”
‘This crazy guy. Why is such a thing here?’
Al’sel turned a bright pink and started babbling nonsensically.
“Is the Temporal Distortion Engine? Why is such a thing rolling around in a world as weak as this?”
“Isn’t that a high-level technology?”
‘We can’t make something like that!’
“What is this nonsense?”
“Simply put.”
“It ignores the laws of thermodynamics.”
“I don’t know, man.”
How am I supposed to know that stuff?
“If time were available, it would be an engine that can produce infinite energy. The moment output has its constraints, though.”
Wow, that’s quite impressive.
“But that infinite engine is still rolling around in the Association.”
We don’t have too many of those too… We’ve only acquired a few as trophies.
“That’s more like a treasure level of a world. This is mass-produced… No, let’s skip it. Regardless of how I explain, you’ll find it hard to comprehend…”
Oh well.
I’m glad the conversation is coming to a simple end.
Al’sel was clearly shocked enough that he stopped gazing at me and started muttering about the reality stabilizer.
No, he wasn’t just looking at it; he was holding it in both hands, wrapping it with his tentacles as if it were some great treasure.
“Let me say this in advance; it’s not yours.”
“I know! That much. Do you think I’d be a lowly thief trying to steal something like this?! I just can’t stand such an important item rolling around in my office.”
‘So until you take it back, I’ll keep it safe… for security…’
…He seems to be overly excited about it.
Well, that doesn’t really matter.
“So, when shall we set off?”
Can we leave in about 1-2 weeks? I apologize for the trouble, but I also didn’t think that Haram would be able to retrieve it and had no plan prepared for anything…
Hahaha. This damned Octopus.
It’s time to turn you into Octopus Sashimi.
I thought that while summoning my hammer.
“Truly, I apologize, Haram Lee.”
The Octopus sincerely bowed its head, as if it genuinely felt sorry.
It didn’t even chatter with its other mouth, filled with sincerity.
No matter how the country is, how could I throw a hammer at such a guy?
“Hah…”
I sighed and recalled my hammer.
“1-2 weeks will be enough, right?”
“Yeah, I guarantee that.”
That’s settled then.
It seemed like the conversation was coming to a close, so I started to stand up and leave the room.
I hadn’t been able to harass the Octopus as originally intended, so I had a bit of stress piling up, but watching Al’sel go insane also served as quite the stress relief.
Just as I was thinking that while leaving the room,
“Hmm? Aren’t you taking the reality stabilizer with you?”
I heard the Octopus say that.
I haven’t forgotten or anything.
“Just keep it. It’s not like it’ll be useful for me anyway.”
Seems like the Octopus likes it, so I can lend it out for now.
“Oh, let me say it in advance; it’s not a permanent loan. Just until we depart.”
After saying that I turned my head, only to see the Octopus wearing a mysterious expression.
Blue, pink, black.
With skin that mixed shades of emotions that I couldn’t even identify.
I waited with the expectation that I would receive answers from that ink waste backdrop, but the Octopus head was just staring at me blankly.
“Well, you’ve got nothing to say? Then, I’m leaving.”
I stepped out of the room.
And just as the door was about to close.
“Haram Lee! When you go home, the…”
Through the door, I could hear the Octopus as if it was trying to say something, but
Squish.
Buried underneath some sticky sound, it became inaudible.
Crunch.
Then, the door closed.
Hmm? What’s that?
I glanced back at the door, but there was no sign of it opening again.
…It’s probably nothing.
If it was something important, he would have yelled it out loud as I was leaving.
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