Rattle.
A short vibration rattled my body on the subway.
I opened my eyes to the shaking.
Had I dozed off?
What station am I at now?
Surprised, I turned to the glass behind me, and instead of a station name, a man’s face appeared.
As if the subway were running through a tunnel, my reflection stood out against the dark outside.
Was my face always like this?
The weary face of a middle-aged man reflected in the glass.
Surely it’s my face. But there’s a strange sense of alienation…
Rattle.
However, that feeling faded away as the door brightened suddenly.
Instead, what appeared was a lively subway station.
With it came other thoughts that pushed the alienation away.
Still two stops until arrival.
Thankfully, I hadn’t missed my stop.
But why was I going there again?
I couldn’t quite remember.
Maybe it was because I had dreamt too long, causing this momentary feeling of not being me.
Even so, a dream is still a dream.
With a deep breath, I remembered why I was on the subway.
Right. I’m off to work.
Why couldn’t I recall something so obvious?
“Because I need to earn a living…” feels like something from a long time ago. Now it’s just the routine of daily life, isn’t it?
Waking up, washing, getting on the subway to head to the office—just repeating actions. Sure, my colleagues or friends say to treat myself, but I don’t feel the need to.
That’s probably…
Rattle.
The subway shook violently, but there was no loud sound. Perhaps it was due to how few people were standing.
Even during rush hour, the subway was nearly empty.
Despite working at a large company, I didn’t feel the need to buy a car if I could take such an empty subway line.
When the subway gets crowded… if I start a family… That’s been decades, yet I still commute by subway.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the inconvenience… due to an unexpected incident…”
Colleagues might say there’s no greed, but it’s more accurate to say there’s no desire. I don’t even think about indulging in luxuries or cutting corners in life.
“What’s going on…?”
“Someone jumped…”
I glanced down at my phone during the announcement over the flowing subway broadcast, but there was no major issue.
I had nearly 40 minutes to spare, so I wouldn’t be late.
I closed my eyes for a moment and waited for the subway to move again.
I wanted to dream again.
I couldn’t remember what kind of dream it was, but I remembered it was very sad and desperate.
I wished to see it again. I closed my eyes.
However, in the end, I couldn’t dream and began making my way to the company.
Today, another ordinary day begins.
“Hey, you brat!”
Is it already lunchtime?
I stopped writing my report and glanced at my watch; there were still 10 minutes left until lunch.
“Ahyeon? Lunchtime’s still far off; what’s going on?”
I thought they were coming to invite me for lunch, but glancing at the time, it seemed there was likely another reason.
“I came to eat lunch! And I told you to call me either Boss Ah or Boss Ahyeon!”
Ah, the ‘Ah’ in the name must mean something.
“Call me however you want; I just don’t feel the need to.”
“It’s okay for me, but you can’t treat others like that. That’s why you’re not getting promoted. Just be a little more pleasant and adapt to those around you, then you’ll do just fine…”
“I’m not interested.”
I already have enough to eat and live on, so I have no desire to please others for a promotion. Even if I get pushed out, I’ve already secured enough means to live.
“I’m just trying to look out for you! I didn’t come to say this, but let’s go eat; I’ve found a great restaurant.”
At that, I looked at the clock again.
11:52 AM.
“Eight minutes left. Wait a sec.”
“That shouldn’t take long… but will you even listen to me?”
Grumbling, he pulled a spare chair over and sat down. I quietly continued my work.
Ahyeon.
My colleague and friend.
Though I’m treating him gruffly, I’m quite grateful for him.
He’s always been there for me, a principled person who takes care of me when I struggle to get along with others.
It’s a bit strange that he still acts like a young son well into adulthood, but that’s probably his way of navigating life.
Just as I was wrapping things up for the morning, a reminder popped up in the center of the monitor.
“Shall we go?”
“You’re punctual as always. I can understand why your work attitude is a mess in performance evaluations, yet you bring in results.”
“I just focus on the given time.”
But I do understand that it’s difficult for others. I must be the strange one.
“Then let’s hurry, it’s a bit far, so you need to move quickly to get back in time for your lunch.”
“That’s why I came ten minutes early.”
If someone had been close to me for a long time, they would have expected this. He must have had a reason to come early.
“Then let’s take the stairs instead of the elevator. We need to be quick…”
As I rushed towards the door.
“Oh. We have to take the elevator.”
Ding.
Turning back, Ahyeon said that while holding something that spun around in his hand; it was the emblem of a well-known foreign car manufacturer.
“Are the stairs locked at this time?”
“Essentially, yes.”
If only he had told me in advance, I wouldn’t have minded if the day got a bit delayed.
“That’s quite a distance.”
It would take 10 minutes to drive, 20 for a round trip. I doubt we’ll even have time for a proper meal.
“It’s a restaurant worth that time, so don’t rush. Once you taste it, you’ll likely become a regular.”
“If it’s really that good, maybe I can afford to delay a day or so.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
As he said that and parked in the restaurant’s lot, Ahyeon smiled like a young boy.
Thud.
As the door closed behind us, the first thing that caught my eye was the restaurant’s sign.
“Bean Meat Specialty Shop. Green Paradise.”
…Bean Meat?
A flurry of thoughts crossed my mind.
Is Ahyeon finally trying to kick me out? Maybe I’ve caused him too much emotional strain. Or perhaps I’m a thorn in his side that hinders his promotion…
“What are you standing there for? Come on in.”
Ignoring my troubled thoughts, he quickly opened the door and went in.
…I guess it’s useless to overthink.
It’s just lunch, after all. Even if it’s terrible, it can’t be that bad.
Even if it doesn’t suit my taste, it would only ruin my mood for a day.
I followed him into the restaurant and sat across from the seat he had claimed.
The place was quiet, with no server in sight.
During lunch hour, aside from us, there were only two other parties in the restaurant.
For a popular restaurant, this seemed unlikely.
“Ah! Just trust me!”
Did Ahyeon sense my anxiety?
Thereafter, the place was in no way different from an ordinary restaurant.
A server came, filled our water cups, and took our order while we chatted as we waited for our food.
We talked about work, life lately, my marriage, and personal matters.
After some short chit-chat…
“Your food is here.”
The dishes were placed in front of us.
I had a bean meat steak.
Ahyeon had a bean meat salad.
“Is this really bean meat?”
“You see it too, right?”
The fragrance of meat wafted through the air, with juices and fats dripping on the hot plate.
No matter how you looked at it, it could only be considered meat.
Drawn in by the aroma, I cautiously lifted a bite of the bean meat to my mouth.
It had no unpleasant smell and a clean, delectable flavor.
I’d ordered it rare, so I thought I’d taste the blandness typical of bean meat, but the moment the rich flavor hit my palate, those thoughts vanished.
Not similar to beef.
Not similar to pork.
Not similar to chicken.
I’ve had turkey before, but even that doesn’t compare.
It definitely has a unique taste.
“Not bad.”
“Right? I was surprised when I discovered this place. It must be a specialty shop or something.”
For sure. It’s incredible. It tasted better than any high-quality beef I’ve ever had.
When you consider the price, it’s even more remarkable.
I took another piece with the juices dripping on it into my mouth.
A chewy umami that I’d never tasted anywhere before.
But why does this bean meat taste so familiar?
I searched for that sense of alienation.
I put the meat back in my mouth.
Again.
Today was just another uneventful day.
After getting off the subway, I quietly headed home. To a home where no one awaited my return.
As this thought crossed my mind, the conversation I had with Ahyeon during lunch resurfaced.
“When are you getting married?”
“I’m not interested.”
“Don’t you think it would feel different if someone welcomed you home?”
“I’ve never felt loneliness or solitude, so I have no particular interest.”
“C’mon. Manager Iwan’s been casually asking, saying his daughter’s getting old.”
…Didn’t he hate me?
“He just values my abilities. If necessary, he’ll try to tie me to their bloodline.”
What meaning does that hold?
Even hearing such words, no emotions rose within me.
Deciding it wasn’t worth pondering, I quickened my pace.
Speeding up my steps.
Diminishing concern for the world outside.
How long has it been?
Something caught my eye.
A small electronics store.
In the store’s display window, a new model television.
On the screen, a cartoon was airing.
A magical girl in white clothing, wielding a hammer.
It seemed like a cartoon meant for kids, yet for some reason, it captivated my attention.
This character, with a hammer bigger than themselves, knocks down surrounding enemies.
I paused for a moment, gazing at them.
Covered in blood, smiling at me.
“No. Wait. Is that really a smile? It’s probably…
…What a ridiculous thought am I having?
It’s just a cartoon for kids.
It ought to be smiling, right?
I turned my gaze away and moved my feet again.
I couldn’t sleep.
Why? That cartoon I saw casually kept resurfacing in my mind.
“…I must get a drink.”
I slipped out of bed and headed to the kitchen.
The house was quiet.
A space filled with a complete absence of sound.
A large house, too big for a man living alone, with three rooms and two bathrooms.
Despite the whispers around me about having to consider marriage, I regretted buying such an unnecessarily large home.
But now, with house prices soaring, I think it might be okay.
If I sell this house and move into a smaller one, I wouldn’t have to worry about the future.
Thinking like that, I opened the refrigerator and poured water into a cup.
Drip, drip.
In the previously silent space, only the sound of flowing water echoed.
As I filled the cup, I quietly brought it to my mouth.
I looked up.
I saw them.
Was it the kitchen light?
The glass of the living room balcony turned into a mirror.
And I faced them.
The one I saw in the cartoon.
With a hammer, staring at me with an arrogant smile.
I quietly headed towards the front door.
Opening the shoe cabinet, I saw a hammer.
A small hammer with a chisel tip.
Grabbing it in my hand, I made my way to the living room.
They were still there.
Holding the hammer, I brought it down.
I struck my own head.
It hurts.
Again.
It hurts.
Again.
I heard the sound of my skull shattering.
My vision turned red with blood.
Thud.
I heard something break, but my hand didn’t stop— I continued to harm myself.
Squish.
Something soft, squishy,
Stuck to the tip of the chisel.
My vision darkens.
My eyes close.
And I became aware of myself.
An existence living through a mind.
A magical girl pursuing justice.
Chapter 105. Screw You.
“Indeed. So it is.”
Did they think they could do something to me with this method?
“By the way, it’s my first time here in another world. How do I go back?”
After a moment’s thought, I recalled that this otherworld is also called Seoul, Korea.
To be precise, through the memories of this Haram that I’m supposedly not— yet created.
Astoundingly simple, devoid of stimulation, and meaningless memories.
It almost seems layered over my original world like those in Infinite Architect— if I shatter it, might I be able to return?
Having that thought, I thrust the hammer into the air.
Creak.
The hammer pierced through the air without resistance, and reality began to crack.
A small hole was breached.
Reality’s collapse spread out.
Hmm, seems like it’ll work.
Feeling a strong certainty of returning, I lifted my head and called out to someone who might be watching this scenery.
“Hey, what’s that? The being at the end of the story? Are you watching?”
No response returned.
To me, it doesn’t really matter.
After all, it’s just a pun.
“Good thing I can’t win physically, so you trapped me in a mental trap, huh? But the trap was too flimsy. How can a human live like a corpse?”
Without any significant relationships.
With no desires at all.
With no future.
Isn’t that just being a corpse?
“Next time, try a little harder.”
I twisted the hammer clockwise.
The world crumbles.
– In the heart of Seoul, an explosion of unknown origin has occurred.
– Thankfully, there were no significant injuries, but there was a resident nearby when the explosion happened.
– This individual (4) (male, office worker)
– Police authorities are moving in to confirm this person after assessing that they likely caused the explosion.
– However, given the strength of the explosion, it’s also claimed that this individual might have been caught up in it and died…
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