I’ve never lived with a goal in life.
I’ve thought about doing what I want, but those goals were usually short-term, like buying and reading newly released comic books, or booking tickets for upcoming movies.
You can set those as life goals, but… well, it feels a bit distant from what people typically mean by ‘life goals.’
Something like this: There’s exactly one goal I must achieve in life.
Well, it’s not like I really need to have one.
On the other hand, in a way, I can say I had such a goal once. I managed to fulfill the dream I had as a child. Unfortunately, it didn’t go on like a dream.
Even if I know rationally that there’s a wall called reality, until I actually hit that wall, it’s hard to grasp how much it hurts.
Even after being reborn in this world, I couldn’t think of regaining the job I had in my previous life for that reason.
“…Koto Ne.”
Kagami, who was lying next to me, called my name.
We were lying side by side.
I had a habit of digging into Kagami’s arms whenever I lay next to her, but for some reason, that felt difficult today.
Meeting Yuka was significant in its own right. It meant I had properly entered that story, and perhaps it was a way to find a solution.
But at the same time, it also meant I was accepting my fate.
Not an ordinary life, but an extraordinary one—one that might require putting my life on the line.
I don’t know what it would be like if I were alone, but living in this world isn’t just about me, right?
“Koto Ne.”
Since I didn’t immediately respond, Kagami called out to me softly after a moment, her voice seeming somewhat like a whisper.
“Yeah.”
In the dark room where the lights were off.
We were lying together on the bed, looking up at the ceiling without the curtains drawn.
It was a habit of ours to leave the curtains open.
For quite a while, we had lived in a house without curtains since I was young. We could close them if we wanted, but I didn’t want to block even the faint light entering from that small one-room apartment.
I wanted to feel that I wasn’t alone in that room, and it seemed Kagami felt the same way.
Or maybe, she was just contemplating a situation where she had to immediately wake up and run away.
…Whatever the reason, we didn’t put curtains in the room. So, just by turning over, I could see Kagami’s face.
Now, I couldn’t do that.
I didn’t want to see Kagami’s sad expression due to my choice. Even though not seeing it wouldn’t make it disappear.
“…How are you feeling about your current life, Koto Ne?”
Kagami asked carefully.
I pondered over her cautious tone, thinking about what she might be thinking to ask such a thing.
“I’m okay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“…Is it okay if we don’t go somewhere else?”
“…”
Kagami was asking again.
If we were to abandon even this life, and leave everything around us behind, would I want to go to a place where no help could reach us?
Was that a longing for an ordinary life? Or…
What should I answer?
After a moment of silence, I carefully reached out.
I gently took my mom’s hand, which was resting on the bed.
Feeling me tracing her fingers, Kagami held my fingers tightly.
Kagami wasn’t urging me to choose to give up. Rather, it felt more like she was saying she wouldn’t give up.
If I were to say I hated this situation, Kagami would probably just take me away without hesitating.
Even if I was caught again, even if I said I hated it again, over and over, sacrificing herself repeatedly.
Whether that was an ideal behavior or not, I couldn’t tell. Kagami wouldn’t know either. That’s why she was asking me once more.
“I,”
I slowly opened my mouth to speak.
“Anywhere as long as Mom is there is fine.”
From the bottom of my heart.
“…Even in such a situation?”
“Yeah. Whatever the situation.”
Kagami swallowed. I could hear her voice tremble slightly.
“Even if it’s that painful and hard?”
Kagami, who had never once gotten angry with me. Kagami, who had never even gotten annoyed.
She just wished for my happiness—Kagami.
So, she wouldn’t even allow herself to feel comfortable—Mom.
“I’m not hurting.”
I said while holding tightly onto Mom’s hand.
“As long as we can be together like this, that’s enough.”
“…”
“What do you want to do, Mom?”
Kagami paused for a moment in thought.
“I, too, want to be with you.”
“Yeah.”
I nodded my head and said softly.
“Then let’s be together.”
“…”
Kagami said nothing in response.
I heard a rustling sound beside me. Kagami was turning towards my side.
I turned to face her too.
Kagami looked at me and smiled. It was a sad smile, but still, I could see a will behind it.
Kagami knew that simply running away wouldn’t change the situation. Even as she tried to move away from the ordinary, danger would continue to follow.
“Mom.”
I said as I nestled into Kagami’s arms.
“It’s okay. I just need to be with Mom.”
“…”
Kagami pulled me into a tight embrace.
I felt her hand slowly stroke my head. Just moments ago, I couldn’t sleep at all, but that hand slowly made my eyelids heavy.
It was a familiar touch and warmth.
I just needed those two to be there.
As long as I don’t lose them in this world.
I can’t afford to lose them again.
I will do whatever it takes to make it so.
That was my goal for this life.
*
Kurosawa Kagami.
Her position in the Kurosawa family could never be considered low. At the very least, in terms of nominal rank, she stood just below her sister, Kosuzu.
However, if we were to talk about power, it could be said that she was practically ‘non-existent’ until Koto Ne was born.
All the beings she produced were failures—half-baked entities.
Only after giving birth to one that resembled a human did she receive proper treatment.
“…”
Perhaps Kosuzu could have continued to treat her as a person even after that. Her daughter might have been able to live simply as the daughter of a wealthy household—
Even though I knew that such possibilities were virtually non-existent, I couldn’t shake that thought.
When I left Koto Ne in the arms of someone untainted and went to work.
When I had to leave Koto Ne at someone else’s house even after kindergarten.
When we had to lie together in a cramped one-room apartment with barely a blanket spread across. When we had to sleep in a cold room during the winter, relying on each other’s warmth.
Every time, Kagami lamented not being able to treat Koto Ne better.
But in the end, there was a reason for running away.
Because Koto Ne would clearly be treated the same way as Kagami in the end.
That little child, who had only just managed to fit into my arms, thinking such things would happen to her, it was hard for Kagami to bear.
…
There was nothing she could do.
She had already tried every possible means.
But still.
“That’s right.”
Kagami answered with a composed expression while sitting across from Miura Masao.
“I think you already know, Miura-san.”
“…”
“I sincerely hope Koto Ne can receive at least minimal protection from you all. At least let her live normally when such things aren’t happening.”
“…”
“Please, keep a strict watch so that my family, the Kurosawa family, doesn’t lay a hand on Koto Ne. That’s the only request I can make in this situation.”
Kagami quietly gazed at Miura.
No emotion showed in her eyes. Having dealt with her feelings since childhood, she had become adept at hiding them.
So, this much was nothing.
“If all goes wrong, then I will take my own life.”
“…Kagami-san.”
“There may be some who will ask what would change if that happened. I’d like to ask those people to let me know. Koto Ne is not simply a being that will eradicate Yōkai.”
The somewhat otherworldly gaze stared silently at Miura.
“The meaning of being a child of a god is just that. No matter what thoughts you all have, the only one capable of wielding that power is the will of that girl herself.”
That was all.
What Kagami could do was just this.
To protect Koto Ne, she had to convince others through Koto Ne’s very existence, and that felt like stabbing her heart with a knife.
But if she didn’t do that.
“…”
Miura regarded Kagami quietly for a while before nodding.
“…I will keep that in mind.”
And he answered calmly.
Kagami didn’t say anything else.
There was nothing more she could add.
In fact, even that word wasn’t sincere.
…Because Kagami knew what it meant for Koto Ne if she were to die.
As long as Koto Ne wished for it, she had to be there, together, until the very last moment, doing whatever they could—
