The small child—so small that they shouldn’t have to know the darkness of the world—holding something sharp against their neck looked like a scene out of a nightmare.
That child was Koto Ne, the one Kagami loved.
They were a child born after carrying for ten months, and had been with Kagami ever since.
The first time they fled, it was impulsive. Kagami didn’t want to raise such a young child in that place. If the child had grown up there, they surely would have died before becoming an adult.
But maybe, without that child, it was Kagami who wouldn’t exist.
Kagami learned to smile for the first time by watching the child shyly smile back while being held.
Brushing the long hair of the child, Kagami was surprised by its softness, and was happy as the child grew to resemble them.
As the child grew taller, learned things, sang, and ran around, everything seemed so natural and beautiful.
At first, the child struggled to adapt, but as they aged, they gradually blended in with the other children and learned to laugh innocently.
They say children grow quickly, but Kagami thought otherwise.
The child seemed to grow too fast, yet to Kagami, they looked so young.
And that child—was holding something sharp against their neck. A child, who just a little while ago had so much time ahead of them, was risking their life. Quite literally.
All just for Kagami.
Kagami felt like their neck was being torn apart. Even as their voice cracked, they kept screaming.
Kagami thought it would be better if their own neck were torn instead. They didn’t want to see blood flowing from that child’s neck.
They wanted to raise the child normally.
Just like any other child, going to school, studying, playing, and living a life full of dreams.
By doing that, Kagami could also live an ordinary life like the child—
Was it greed?
Was it all Kagami’s selfish desire? Should they not have raised the child at all?
Would it have been okay if Koto Ne had grown up not knowing Kagami was their mother, and if they had been raised by someone else? Could Koto Ne have grown up normally in an ordinary family?
Such futile thoughts.
Such pointless thoughts. It had all come to this. The normalcy had been shattered. Kagami had thought from a certain moment that they could not be separated from Koto Ne.
They floundered on the ground. The transparent plastic pierced the skin, and red blood was visible.
Blood was flowing from the toy.
That was the only thing Koto Ne had chosen to take with them while running away. Perhaps they wanted to remember the friends they would never see again.
Now it was broken and only left scars behind.
With all their strength, they pushed themselves up. The blood flowing from their arms and legs didn’t matter. They didn’t even realize blood was flowing.
Their neck hurt.
It was unclear whether it was due to screaming their lungs out, or if it was from the blood coming from their only daughter’s neck. Kagami felt the child’s injury hurt more than their own.
Their only daughter.
Their only family.
“Koto Ne, Koto Ne!”
Kagami shook the child’s body.
The child was limp and unresponsive. Their face was pale, and blood continued to flow from their neck. Kagami held the neck with their hands, squeezing and letting go, unsure of what to do. Would it suffocate the child if they held it too tightly? But if they didn’t continue to apply pressure, the blood would keep flowing.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Kagami awkwardly placed their hand on Koto Ne’s neck, crying and apologizing.
“I’m sorry for hurting you like this.”
It was all Kagami’s fault.
If only Koto Ne hadn’t been Kagami’s daughter, such a thing wouldn’t have happened.
If Koto Ne had never thought of Kagami as their mother, they wouldn’t have had to hurt themselves because of Kagami.
It was hard to tell if Koto Ne even heard the apologies. They probably didn’t. Koto Ne’s skin was growing paler. The light in their eyes faded, and became dim.
Kagami continued to scream. Hoping Koto Ne would at least respond somehow.
Continuously. Continuously.
“……!”
As they were about to scream one last time—
Kagami opened their eyes.
Huff, taking a deep breath, they sent air to their lungs repeatedly.
What they saw was the ceiling they were slowly becoming familiar with.
Not the ceiling of their body, but the ceiling of an old house.
“……Hah.”
Kagami’s body felt sticky with sweat. Shaking hands touched the floor as they sat up.
Covering their face with both hands, they exhaled repeatedly before slowly lowering them.
Gently looking down at the thin blanket covering them, they turned their head very, very slowly. As if there was something they were extremely afraid to confirm.
Beside them, Koto Ne was peacefully asleep.
Facing Kagami, curled up in a ball. With each rhythmic breath, their shoulders rose and fell slightly.
With trembling hands, Kagami carefully tucked Koto Ne’s hair behind their ear, which had fallen to the side.
The hair that Kagami always brushed now lay behind the ear.
Under the moonlight, the child’s skin glowed white. Koto Ne, unaware of anything in the world, looked as if nothing had ever happened.
This house had several rooms. In fact, if necessary, they could easily make Koto Ne a separate room.
However, Kagami wasn’t ready to do that yet.
It felt like they had to check on Koto Ne from time to time. As if Koto Ne might suddenly vanish.
Would it disappear suddenly, as if a miracle had come? That thought scared Kagami too much.
They lay back down.
They faced Koto Ne.
The sight of Koto Ne, peacefully asleep, was more beautiful than anything else in the world.
……Was it because of a mother’s eye?
……Mother.
What kind of mother in this world would let their daughter be chased like that? What kind of mother would leave scars on their daughter’s neck to escape a crisis?
The one who should have been hurt at that time was Kagami.
Kagami continued to gaze at Koto Ne, then reached out and held them in their arms.
“Umm.”
Koto Ne let out a small whimper but didn’t wake up.
Only then could Kagami fall back asleep again.
*
After living here for about three months, they realized a few things.
Though it was rural, it wasn’t really lacking in anything.
Perhaps they had taken care of them, as they could find almost everything needed with just a short drive. It wasn’t like Tokyo, but still.
Kagami and I shared the same room.
It was somewhat of a tacit agreement. I didn’t want to leave Kagami’s side, and it seemed Kagami felt the same way. Unfortunately, we had been together for too long to suddenly separate. If one of us suddenly vanished, the other would surely feel separation anxiety.
But that didn’t mean we could just stay stuck together.
I had to go to school, and Kagami had to work. The yakuza uncle we lived with seemed to have found work, but we couldn’t just continue living off him forever.
……
Well, if one looked closely, it was just me living off them now.
Our family integrated into the village more easily than expected. The uncle, if he didn’t deliberately dress up, looked like a good-natured young man who was good at his job, and Kagami… was really Kagami. So, there was nothing strange about being seen as a bride.
Kagami was truly an adult now.
I had a long way to go to become an adult.
When would I be able to help?
“Koto Ne!”
“Mako.”
The car we were riding in stopped, and the door opened. I helped Mako get inside.
“Thank you as always.”
Mako’s father politely greeted us. He was dressed nicely, a sight not often seen in the countryside. At first glance, he looked like a corporate executive or a high-ranking official.
Mako, I, and the school lived in a place that was somewhat distant. While it wasn’t impossible to walk, Kagami could now drive, and anyway, the school was on the way to work.
So, it was just a matter of dropping me off on the way, and Mako, who was my friend, too.
“No, I should be the one thanking you. Koto Ne was able to make friends right after coming here.”
I once pondered whether it would be better not to make friends at all, but that didn’t seem to be Kagami’s style.
Perhaps they hadn’t given up on raising Koto Ne to grow up ordinarily yet?
If so, then I had no intention of giving up either.
I nodded respectfully towards Mako’s father. He waved at Mako and me.
The car door closed, and Kagami pressed the accelerator again.
“Koto Ne, what are you doing for summer vacation?”
Summer vacation.
Somehow, that brought a bitter smile.
“I don’t have any plans yet.”
“Then, would you like to go together when the village holds a festival?”
“The village has a festival?”
“Yeah. But, are there villages that don’t hold summer festivals?”
That made me genuinely laugh, not just a bitter smile.
Really.
Is there a village like that? I’m not sure.
It seems there was a place I lived that might have had one.
……
I’ve only lived in one place.
……
I wondered what happened to Go.
I held back a small sigh that wanted to escape.
My site has received a lot of DMCA notices, lol. From now on, I will update the MTL on https://darkmtl.com/.
The site is fast and lightweight because there are no ads yet. However, the theme is different from Cybor-TL, so take some time to familiarize yourself.
Support me by donating at least $10, and you'll have the right to request any novel from Novelpia (excluding 19+ content) using a newly developed tool.