What does being ordinary mean?
For the past few days, since I couldn’t even go to school, I’ve been lying down staring at the ceiling, contemplating this.
I heard Harumi was going, but there were no preparations or videos, and the video rental shop went bankrupt, so I didn’t have any videos to watch.
The fairy tale book that Kagami used to read to me is gone too, so… um.
The means I used to spend my time were no longer in my hands. It would be accurate to say that I didn’t even have any hobbies left.
Two days after we moved in here, we put up new wallpaper. Still, at least after putting it up, the place didn’t look like a ruin anymore.
The yard wasn’t completely clean either, but whenever we had time, Kagami and the uncle kept tidying up.
I occasionally tried to help out by picking up a broom, but Kagami and the uncle would stop me and lay me back down in my room. In the end, I had nothing to do but roll around on the blanket spread across the floor.
The furniture in the house was gradually being filled. It was getting somewhat clean due to a nearby secondhand furniture store, but worn-out furniture pieces were gradually coming in.
Um, in a way, it was a much bigger place than where we used to live. It wasn’t just one room, so I might soon be able to use a separate room.
Honestly speaking, I didn’t really want to yet.
…Is that so?
They say once you’re an elementary school student, you need to have your own room, so maybe Kagami could be said to have failed at this honestly. My reluctance to be apart from Mom at my age might be some kind of separation anxiety, or something like that.
It was peaceful and quiet. I could hear the sounds of the uncles working outside, and sometimes Kagami speaking up.
Kagami’s voice had improved a bit, at least. He didn’t act like I was about to die any moment now. Is that a relief?
“…Yeah.”
Eventually, I got up from my spot.
I went over to the corner of the room and opened the large duffel bag Kagami had brought. The bag had become lighter over the days. Most of my clothes were already taken out and put in the closet.
However, there was still something inside the bag.
A pretty thick film bag. A bag full of developed negative films. Out of all the chaos, this was one thing I managed to bring back properly.
Memories remain, it seems.
Harumi and Yuuki.
Inside the bag, though there was no album, there was one more bag that was slightly smaller than the film bag.
Kagami often took pictures of me. It was almost as if he wanted to document my growth day by day.
So, there were quite a few photos that didn’t make it into the album, and this bag contained those photos. Yes, albums are thick and heavy, but a mere bag is light.
There were photos from the end of last year to the beginning of this year.
Christmas and New Year.
We gathered and played on Christmas, and we went to the shrine together for New Year. There were pictures of us all wearing kimonos.
“…”
In the photos, I seemed happy. Harumi and Yuuki next to me looked good in their clothes too. Yuuki had slowly been coming to terms with his family situation lately, yet when he was with Harumi and me, he could at least smile brightly.
Would we not be able to meet these two anymore?
Having lived near Harumi’s house and gone through that incident, the ones who brought us out were also Harumi’s family. Would we not be able to go back again?
I don’t know.
Choosing to believe that nothing is decided yet, I carefully placed the photos back into the bag.
*
About a week later, our new home felt a little more like a house.
We didn’t call a professional, but we managed to fix the roof, and since we were bustling around the house, the neighborhood residents were curious.
“We’re Sato now,” Kagami introduced us with a demeanor like a proper wife.
I was hiding behind Kagami.
I just slightly nodded as the grandmother said, “What a cute child you have.”
I wonder why I did that. Even though I’ve become less shy as I grew older. I could even go to a ramen shop with friends and eat ramen together.
My new school was decided.
It was a bit far, but it was a rideable distance by bicycle.
It was quite different from the school Harumi, Yuuki, and I attended. The playground was wide, but it seemed oddly desolate like a countryside school.
At least, there weren’t too few students.
“I’m Sato Koto Ne.”
I greeted the teacher in front of the class.
The children stared at me with wide eyes. Was it uncommon for a new student?
The wound on my neck had almost healed. Maybe it wasn’t as big of an injury as I thought—there was still a scar, though. Kagami had said that passing out was probably due to the extreme stress I had from the situation.
Could that really be it?
Wasn’t it perhaps because I wasn’t an ‘ordinary child’? I vaguely recalled Kagami stating he wanted to raise me ‘normally’ but decided this time to trust Kagami again.
For now, I didn’t want to think deeply about anything.
“I have transferred here… Please take care of me.”
I slowly looked around the class.
Curious faces of elementary school students.
Most of them had sun-kissed faces as if they’d been playing outside happily.
That atmosphere was somewhat different from the city. Innocent, I suppose? Honestly, considering they are elementary students, it made sense.
However, among such children, one stood out.
A child with white skin that hadn’t been tanned by the sun.
Seeing how she was already wearing thick glasses, she looked like she might be very good at studying. I don’t know, excluding just the fair skin and glasses, she felt a bit different from the others.
The neatly cut bob hairstyle showed how much her parents cared for her.
When our eyes met, she quickly looked away.
“Well then, go to that empty seat. Don’t you think you could introduce yourself slowly over time?”
At the teacher’s words, I nodded and slowly headed towards the empty seat.
In a typical school, an ‘empty seat’ means a back seat. Teachers prefer students to gather in front.
And that empty seat was next to the girl with white skin and the bob hair.
“Okay, Mako. Since Koto Ne doesn’t have a book yet, could you share with her just for today?”
At the teacher’s words,
“Huh? Ah, okay!”
Mako replied a bit surprised.
The surrounding kids chuckled a bit.
So her name is Mako.
“Um, um.”
While the teacher was writing something on the blackboard, preparing for the lesson, Mako opened her book and placed it on our desk, saying:
“I’m Miura. Miura Mako.”
“… Yeah.”
Looking at Mako as she spoke, I nodded.
“… Sato Koto Ne.”
Upon my reply, Mako seemed a little tense and nodded. A somewhat awkward smile appeared on her lips.
“Nice to meet you.”
“…”
Ah.
To be honest,
I’m not exactly the strongest mentally. Even the slightest incident influences my thoughts, and I’m the type to think, “I definitely shouldn’t do this.”
Even after losing my family in my previous life.
Because I felt I might lose people again, I thought it might be better to be alone. Even if I felt happy, in the end, I’d be betrayed.
But at the same time, I was extremely lonely.
Though I was cut off from the surroundings, maybe I couldn’t fully sever everything from my inside. Even thinking being alone is better, I couldn’t quite be.
Just like right now.
Even if I make friends, as long as that existence chases me, I might not stay friends until the end.
If I run away and hide somewhere again, that relationship would completely vanish.
But even so, did I wish to become close to someone like Harumi or Yuuki again?
Seeing Mako, who cautiously spoke to me first, I sadly thought that.
I gently held onto the other side of the textbook Mako was pushing forward so it wouldn’t turn a page.
That day, we looked through the book like that.
*
Mako Miura was ordinary.
No, that’s right.
Pretty, kind, and she didn’t seem to particularly like moving around too much, but still, um, ordinary. The term ordinary is often used to lump all people together, so yes.
She was definitely more ordinary than me.
She mentioned moving here because of her dad’s business trip about a month ago, so ultimately there wasn’t much difference from me. She said she also lived in Tokyo.
She didn’t know when she’d return to Tokyo again, it seemed.
“You were similar, huh?”
If my tone revealed Tokyo-ness a bit, Mako asked like that.
“… Yeah.”
I said while munching on the sausage from my lunchbox.
“So, you’ll go back someday, right?”
Well, who knows.
I’m not sure either.
But before I could answer like that, Mako smiled slightly and said,
“I know a really delicious ice cream shop. I went with my dad and mom. If we go back to Tokyo together later, let’s visit it together.”
“…”
But to such an innocent remark, I couldn’t bring myself to say something like ‘well… who knows.’
I simply nodded quietly.
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