“…….”
I stared blankly at the blue sky above.
There was something stuck above the palm trees below my line of sight.
An island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
Of course, it’s not like this place is completely devoid of people. I heard somewhere that the places with the fewest people in the world or the islands that are the farthest away are different.
Hawaii had people living here long before it became a state in the USA; it once had its own kingdom. It’s amazing to think that people came to live on an island in the middle of the Pacific.
Well, it’s even more surprising that humankind, which supposedly started in Africa, migrated across continents on foot.
“What are you thinking about so earnestly?”
Yuka, sitting next to me and looking up at the sky, asked as she seemed a bit bored.
“Just thinking about the meaning of distance. This is the farthest I’ve been born to see.”
“Well, everyone here is in the same boat. Some of them might not even think of going farther than here.”
I used to feel that way. I didn’t exactly have plans to visit another country… Well, it wasn’t like I ruled it out completely, but I had no thoughts of traveling to the other side of the globe.
In fact, even here, it’s not like we can truly say it’s on the opposite side of the world. If I had to be exact, maybe it’s about the distance of the Korean Peninsula?
“Is it lonely because it’s far?”
Yuka asked.
“Uuh?”
Koko, who was sitting on the opposite side, tilted her head in confusion.
It sounded as if she thought it was strange to feel lonely in this situation.
“No, it’s not loneliness.”
Right. It isn’t lonely. I have plenty of friends.
In fact, just yesterday, we stayed up late playing in the same room. We had separate rooms assigned, and they were quite far apart, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t visit each other’s rooms.
Even though the trio of Mako had to return to their own rooms when it was time to sleep, we talked for so long that I didn’t feel lonely at all.
We woke up early today and roamed around Hawaii’s attractions. Not only did we explore the city, but we also hiked up mountain paths, enjoyed the fantastic scenery, and even saw a sea turtle that had come ashore on a beach across from Honolulu.
It was fun. In a sense, it felt entirely different from my time in Japan.
But…
“It’s just… there’s someone weighing on my heart.”
Yeah. I was relieved that Kagami didn’t come along. Honestly, I think that even now. If Kagami were here, I’d find it a little annoying to see her sticking to my side all day long in front of my friends.
But still.
It’s only been about half a year, but I feel a slight sense of missing Kagami, who has been sticking by my side all this time.
No, it’s not that I’m really… you know, motherly or anything.
It’s just that her teary eyes from last time are still fresh in my mind.
Would I ever come to Hawaii again? Could it even be possible just because I have free time? That thought made the bittersweet feelings swell up a bit more.
When I shared those thoughts with Yuka, she chuckled in disbelief.
“I can’t tell if you’re a dutiful daughter or a mama’s girl.”
“……”
No, I can’t believe you are actually saying what I was thinking!
“Even so, it’s not that extent.”
“You’re saying you’re not a dutiful daughter? Not a mama’s girl?”
“……”
For a moment, my brain short-circuited.
I’m… definitely not a dutiful daughter.
Kagami uses respectful language with me, while I’ve maintained casual language with her all along. It’s not like I’ve done anything particularly grand for her either. I do remember celebrating birthdays or anniversaries, but most of the time, I just cling to her and live off of her.
“Hey, you can’t say that a kid is living off parent’s money. I’m still in high school, you know.”
Yuka countered, still finding it ridiculous. Then suddenly, her expression stiffened.
“…Ah, is that so?”
“Hmm?”
“Oh, never mind.”
After she said that in an odd way, I glared at her, frowning.
“You said never mind?”
“No, I mean, uh, don’t think too seriously about it. Being close in family is enough.”
I poked Yuka in the side with my finger.
“Ugh!?”
“Stop making that suspicious face and just say it.”
“B-but you were the one making that suspicious face the entire last year without saying anything!”
Did I now?
I seem to recall it that way. But there was a reason for that. How could I tell my friends that I was going to die?
I should be able to hide that much.
“……”
Yuka thought for a moment, sighed deeply, and then spoke.
“Just… we haven’t been apart for too long.”
Yuka said cautiously.
“That’s why I thought it might be that kind of feeling.”
“……”
Is that so?
I pondered for a moment.
A sentimental feeling…?
Hmm, I honestly can’t say for sure. I don’t even know if I’m feeling that kind of emotion.
I call her ‘mom,’ I acknowledge the relationship, and I’ve developed some affection, but there’s still a subtle wall between us as family.
It feels like we’re incredibly close friends…
Kagami fully recognizes me as her daughter, but I wonder if I really see it that way.
“What does Koko think?”
“Uuh?”
Koko, who had been silently listening to our conversation, tilted her head.
“About mom.”
“Mom?”
Koko tilted her head again.
There was no answer for quite a while. It seems Kagami’s relationship with Koko is a bit complicated as well.
“Mom is… mom.”
And with that, Koko concluded.
I took a moment to ponder that response.
Right. Even if there’s a wall of relations or whatever complicated discussions, we are family.
All families in the world have their own relationships. And that relationship can be both far and near. The sense of distance differs from person to person.
So, the closeness and distance between Kagami, Koko, and me doesn’t really matter.
In any case, that distance will change over time.
“Is that so?”
I nodded.
Yuka quietly watched Koko and me before looking back up at the sky.
“Is that so?”
Yuka echoed my words.
The three of us silently gazed up at the sky for a while.
Despite the hot weather, the sky was bright blue, making me feel refreshed.
*
“By the way, Koto Ne.”
While we were having a meal, Sasaki called out to me.
“Hmm?”
I responded while taking a big bite of a hamburger topped with a fried egg and rice.
At a glance, it seemed like food you could easily find in Japan, but apparently, this is also quite a famous dish in Hawaii. It seems it’s not as well-known as something like poke, though.
But still, when in a foreign country, sometimes you just crave familiar food. Since I still had tomorrow, I figured a somewhat ordinary meal wouldn’t be bad just for one time.
There were quite a few other kids here besides me. To be precise, many of my classmates were around. They were mixed boys and girls.
Two of Sasaki’s friends I saw last time were also present, but they didn’t seem to be jealous of Sasaki, who was naturally chatting with us today. They were happily talking with other girls in the same class.
“Didn’t you call me by my name until the first semester?”
“…… Did I?”
I thought for a moment.
It seems that way… It felt like they definitely called me ‘Sota.’
Hmm.
But to elaborate further, I didn’t really call Sasaki by name very often.
There’s no need to call someone’s name before talking with them, is there?
Besides, earlier this year, I practiced for quite a while not addressing Kagami as “mom,” so maybe that applied to Sasaki… or rather, Sota too.
And it’s not a wonder I hadn’t mentioned names since we hadn’t seen each other during break—
—plus, there’s also Nanami beside me.
Nanami’s interference isn’t as severe as it used to be. But it doesn’t mean there’s no scrutiny at all.
To be honest, it’s more of a cute jealousy that makes me feel slightly teased rather than being annoying or scary. If I were to enlist Sota into the literature club right now, what kind of reaction would I get?
Just thinking about it for a moment seems like it could create chaos. There’s one person in our club who has a crush on Sota. If a junior and senior start arguing, the atmosphere would be ruined.
Quickly wiping that thought away, I opened my mouth again.
“Are you worried about something?”
“Uh…”
Sota opened her mouth for a moment in response to my question.
“Of course, I’m worried.”
Is she thinking she did something wrong?
I scooped up a large bite of fried egg, hamburger, and rice with my spoon.
“Alright. I’ll call you by your name again.”
“Uh… okay?”
Sota looked at me with a perplexed expression but eventually started eating again.
…Even so, it might be rude to say I just forgot. I mean, would it be that odd to say I forgot how to address a friend?
After living in a different culture for about a year, there’s still so much I don’t know.
That must be why everyone around is worried about me too. There are still lots of things left for me to experience at this age.
Yeah, there’s still a lot left.
“Shii might be home alone.”
“…Yeah, that’s true.”
In response to my mumbling, Sota agreed.
“Is she entering our school next year?”
“Yup.”
“I want to take Shii to the literature club.”
“Yeah, she said that.”
Sota hesitated, then opened up.
“But, can I join too?”
“What!?”
Nanami, sitting next to us, gasped.
Everyone’s gaze turned toward us. Nanami’s face turned red.
“……”
This is exactly why I hadn’t brought it up on purpose.
If I’m not careful, there might end up being two people in the club room.
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