“…”
Well, what can I say? My mood feels very strange.
No matter how much they say not to judge someone’s appearance, there’s no way anyone would feel okay looking at a creature that looks like a toad sliced in half with octopus tentacles attached to its waist.
Besides, that design was probably made to provoke rejection in the first place. Isn’t this a Lovecraftian myth? I haven’t read the Dreamland stories, but if it features monsters, it would certainly be like that.
But then, that monster sat down as I reached out my hand, groaning.
When I was told to somehow deal with the ferocious monsters, I had no idea what they meant, but now I understand why they brought me specifically.
“…Is it because I’m a being that crossed over from reality?”
As I muttered this while watching those beasts, who were sitting with their tentacles sprawled out on the ground and accepting my touch, Kuro shook her head.
“No, it’s not that. It’s because ‘you’ are you.”
“Myaong,” Kuro let out a meowing sound and slumped down on the floor.
There were a lot of similar beasts in front of me, and thankfully, they weren’t groaning as well.
Something about this feels… odd, like they’re showing a gesture of submission.
“Thanks to you, I’m relieved. If it weren’t for that, I’d surely have seen blood. So many people would have died.”
“…”
I pulled my hand away from petting the moon beasts and looked into their eyes.
There was nothing extra stuck to them. The visual was such that it wouldn’t be strange if they were wrapped in a sticky, slimy substance, but they weren’t.
“…So?”
“Myaong?”
“You said you’d tell me if you helped me.”
I turned to Kuro, then plopped down onto the ground. The ground was covered in fine sand. I don’t know what it’s made of, but it was definitely of a ‘moon’ color. It was sparkling enough that one could say it was more like powdered silver than sand. Or maybe there were fine silver particles mixed in with the sand.
I can breathe, and the wind blows, but I have no idea why the craters that are scattered around here, just like the moon in reality, don’t disappear. Could this be the influence of dreams that people have?
Well, right now, that doesn’t really matter. It seems foolish to question the laws of physics when I’m even here.
Rather—
“About the prophecy.”
Kuro looked up at me.
“Really? Do you want to know?”
“Yes.”
If that weren’t the case… wait, no, even if it weren’t the case, there seems to be no way other than following her around.
It seems Kuro is hiding me. Protecting the spirit that left my body… anyway, it feels like she’s doing something like that. I don’t quite understand the reason.
Is my destination really here? Is there another reason hidden behind? That makes me somewhat worried.
“You said I haven’t really died yet, right? Yuka thought once again on it. Then, is the prophecy broken?”
“Myaong, well.”
Kuro answered. Her eyes narrowed slightly. That groan truly seems to be a laugh on her end.
“Does that mean I have nothing to worry about now?”
“Not really.”
Kuro answered in the same way again.
“You don’t really have anyone who believes in you, do you? Just Yuka.”
“…What?”
“It’s debatable whether the simple fact that someone will do something for you matches up with ‘believing’—right? You believe in Yuka, but she hasn’t told you everything. That belief is a kind of bargain, meaning it’s not the same as trust. But you believe that Yuka will be on your side no matter the situation, right? Even if you haven’t shared everything with her, and even if you told a few lies. That’s belief. Not trust, though.”
“…”
“So how about that other god, Nirlas? You trust that god. You think they would do anything if the deal’s conditions are met. In a sense, that is also a belief, isn’t it? But at the same time, you’re cautious, right? You have faith that they won’t lie to you, but you also think they’re playing with you. I don’t think that will lead to only positive outcomes.”
“So?”
“Was it Yuka who stabbed you, or was it Nirlas?”
“Well, it must’ve been Nirlas.”
I answered immediately, frowning.
I didn’t want to believe Yuka stabbed me. Even if that were true, if I got hit by a car and flew into another person, it wouldn’t be the fault of the one who was hit but rather the fault of the one driving the car.
“Alright. It doesn’t matter which side it is, you were definitely stabbed by a being you believe in. It’s certain that Yuka thought ‘once more.’ She said exactly that. Then how about Nirlas?”
“…Uh.”
“Well, I can’t read the memories of beings at the same level as Nirlas, so I can’t say for sure. But if they’re not trying to play tricks on you, it could mean things went in a direction they didn’t expect. Just looking at how they used the knife to stab you suggests that.”
I tried to be patient. It’s not like I’m in a rush because of the claim that I’m on the same level as Nirlas. I expected that from the start.
However, if Kuro grows moody and doesn’t say anything to me, it’s clear that I won’t get to hear what I want.
While enjoying that look on my face, Kuro spoke.
“You have many beings you believe in, but if we narrow it down to those who can definitely kill you, it’s not too many. Do you think Kaoru could kill you? That’s probably impossible. Even if she pushed you from a high place, you’d just get back up, right?”
I agreed on that. I never thought Kaoru would do something like that to me… Oh, right. This is also about belief, I guess.
“Among the beings that can kill you, who else do you think is there?”
“…Koko?”
“Is that so? Do you think she can kill you? I doubt it.”
Kuro said.
“I don’t think she’d even think about the possibility of killing you. You two are connected in one way or another—since you share the same mother.”
“We are… beings birthed by a god?”
“Myaong.”
Kuro meowed.
“You’ll find that out later, later.”
Kuro smiled lightly as if she was looking forward to that moment, and then continued the conversation.
“So, speaking of which, let’s return to the origin. What do you think about the concept of ‘death’? Stopping the heart? Getting decapitated?”
“…You mentioned that those things happen to ordinary people.”
Even Koko was just “Ko” when I discovered her.
When I added flesh to her, she became a head, and I created the body piece by piece, leading to the Koko I know now.
“That’s right. Ultimately, you’re still in a dream and are asleep, meaning your soul hasn’t left your body yet. True death is about that—leaving the body. One more thing, how many souls do you think can enter one body?”
“…One?”
“That’s what I’m saying, when you add ‘normally’ to it, that’s the case.”
Kuro looked up at me with narrowed eyes and said.
“That’s why I find you interesting.”
“I… wasn’t saying that?”
“Right.”
Kuro said with a laugh.
“When you talked to Nirlas, where did the voice come from?”
“Well, it was right next to my ear… usually, right?”
“How did it feel?”
“It felt like touching my body or putting a hand on my shoulder.”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“I couldn’t see the presence in the first place.”
“Interesting.”
Kuro meowed and laughed again.
“It’s very human-like that you can’t think that the presence right beside you isn’t visible at all.”
“…What?”
“Let me ask you something. If there is a being that is the closest in the world but isn’t visible, who would that be?”
“Um… that would be…”
“Whether human or not, all animals gaze outward. It’s not inward.”
Kuro said.
“What happened when you called Nirlas? Your body didn’t move, did it? As if you lost control.”
“…Uh?”
“What did you do when you wanted to call Nirlas? You tore your body and let blood flow, right? That blood flowed out through the pattern drawn deliberately on your wrist.”
“Ah, hold on a sec.”
I stood up from my seat.
“You… have a hole in your chest. That wound hasn’t healed yet, and most of your blood has already drained out.”
“That means—”
“Don’t worry. Blood is… well, when you think about it normally, it’s just a ‘part of the body’, right? Don’t you remember what you said when you talked to Nirlas?”
They called me, “Avatar.”
That’s right. They definitely said that. They didn’t even beat around the bush or do anything indirect.
Myaong.
Kuro meowed.
“As long as your soul doesn’t leave and you don’t ‘die,’ things stay the same. Isn’t that nice? While you’re here, the other owner of that body won’t awaken.”
“The prophecy hasn’t been fulfilled yet?”
“Right.”
“Then, killing me is…?”
“There’s still one left.”
Kuro said while staring at me.
“There’s someone who recently thought, ‘we would absolutely never betray each other.’”
“Ah—”
“What if someone who changes their mind wants to see you again? Wouldn’t they do anything to call you back?”
Kuro stood up and stretched her front legs while saying that.
“And, to resurrect, death is necessary. Even if two souls can enter one body, one soul cannot exist in two bodies. And once the soul has transferred, the remaining body can be expressed as it has ‘died.’ Wouldn’t that be right?”
*
Kagami thought it was also important to check the state of the corpse.
If Kotoné dies this way and that body rots away without coming back to life, at least her heart could be at ease.
Then it would be truly over.
If the corpse was stiff from rigor mortis or already slowly decaying… if that was the case, Kotoné would indeed be dead.
It is possible to summon a soul that has once left the mortal realm. But it is almost impossible for that soul to settle into a new body.
There’s no real reason known. Even if a new body is obtained, there might be rejection, or even if it has come back to life, the body decays slowly. There are ways to impose into a living one, but ultimately, it doesn’t last long. At least, what I’ve learned from the records is that “one cannot continue to live as is.”
There are guesses, though. It’s hypothesized that, just as a human body grows, souls also grow, so if it isn’t a body exactly fitting, settling down is impossible. No proof exists as those who went to the afterlife were all dead souls.
However, thankfully.
If the corpse isn’t decaying and stays intact.
It may be possible to recreate the body through Koko. A body that has the spirit not having departed. Just as Koko lives by following Kotoné’s body.
And by doing that, Kotoné could be brought back to this world.
…Of course, that means fully handing over Kotoné’s body to someone else.
Still, the reason is unknown. Kagami could not understand why the god, who showed no interest whatsoever for 16 years, suddenly wanted to enter Kotoné’s body.
Perhaps, Kosuzu was right.
Over and over, the god had created bodies to use. And among them, perhaps one finally suited them.
Just as a soul can only settle into an appropriate body.
It merely took years and time for the body to grow, before it could finally settle, a story that feels overwhelmingly draining.
Kagami didn’t know from the start. She merely concluded that Kotoné wasn’t the being Kosuzu desired after having a long conversation with her.
Kotoné’s blood attacked someone.
Kotoné’s blood stabbed Kotoné.
She doesn’t think she would ever kill someone close to her.
Kotoné doesn’t think she would willingly die.
Then the conclusion is simple enough.
At least, the owner of the blood flowing in that body isn’t Kotoné.
What that thing inside is, she doesn’t know, but the moment the soul is drawn out, will the ownership of that body return to that being? That’s why it’s dangerous.
If she fails, she’d lose Kotoné and the world would burn.
But—still.
It doesn’t matter.
Even if the world burns.
After all, there have been countless times long ago when she wanted that. When she was just a tool left behind after being used by her sister. When she realized that she was merely an instrument, not following a great purpose.
To avoid suffering longer, she had worked hard to prove that it wasn’t so, and only when she was about to give up did she find Kotoné.
For the first time, she had someone she thought of as a daughter. A being she could consider family. A family who treated her as a person and not as a tool or someone above her.
She had given up on everything.
Yeah, she thought she had no connections to begin with.
Not just her sister Kosuzu, everyone in that house was like that. The family’s purpose had already been decided long ago, and Kosuzu, Kagami, were merely tools created in that house.
Gathered, gathered, gathered, and deepened into a bottomless black pond.
That’s what Kurosawa was.
To be honest, when Kosuzu resolved everything, there seemed to be hope.
When Kagami said she was important, she felt over the moon.
But in the end, she was tossed aside once more.
If she knew nothing, Kagami would have just kept living. Over her emotions, she would smile, securing the favor of others.
She had finally found the being who brought up the emotions buried under Kagami’s smile. A being that came to her on its own without any effort.
If she lost it forever, she would just return to then.
Even if the world burned down, it would be better to choose the side that had a chance of bringing Kotoné back.
If Kotoné were to come back to life, what should they do?
Let’s hold hands and escape.
Let’s run away with Kotoné and Koko as far as possible.
Until the purging fire that sweeps across the world chases after them. Until they cannot escape at all.
Still, the last death would end warmly in the embrace of a family.
*
Shii was confused.
“…Oniichan?”
As Shii muttered blankly while looking up at Sota, Sota couldn’t bring herself to say anything.
“…”
And between that Shii and Sota, Nanami couldn’t say a single word.
The reason Nanami came to Sota’s house was none other than Kotoné.
Though they weren’t complete best friends, Nanami thought of Kotoné as a friend.
The news about Kotoné spread very quickly in school.
Naturally, it was because a student had died.
Moreover, Kotoné was a somewhat famous girl in school. Her pretty face and nearly always expressionless demeanor.
Since the beginning of the first semester, she had gotten involved in various troubles, leading to not-so-good rumors circulating behind her back. Of course, Nanami mostly ignored those, trying to correct some rumors.
Yet, that child had even died.
Nanami could guess the cause.
So, is that child not someone living in this world? Having been entangled in that incident, it seemed like any moment could be her last.
Though they said Kotoné was dead, in reality, Nanami knew nothing at all. She had never been to her half. She had even prayed for her soul while looking at the place flowers were placed.
However, their relationship hadn’t gotten that deep. She couldn’t suddenly jump in and say something like “It will be alright.”
Her sister was nowhere to be seen, nor was her closest friend in a state to be spoken to.
Hagiwara had not come out of school.
Sota was either already home or didn’t show up at school.
Worried and unable to do anything, Nanami recalled that Koto and Shii had a somewhat awkward relationship.
Though she had been a bit of a nuisance in their relationship with Sota, she was still worried—
In the end, it had reached this point, and this scenario unfolded.
Only after seeing Sota’s face did Nanami realize Shii still didn’t know that fact.
“Senpai… what has happened?”
Shii asked in a trembling voice.
“Ah, um, that is…”
Nanami opened her mouth to try to clear things up but then closed it. She could feel her complexion turning pale.
And seeing that expression, it was meaningless to say that it was a misunderstanding or a mistake now.
“…Shii.”
The first to speak was Sota.
“…Stay calm, listen carefully.”
“Oniichan?”
Even though she had already heard the story, Shii looked up at Sota with an expression that couldn’t comprehend the situation.
As if she didn’t understand why Sota was wearing such a serious face.
“Kurosawa…”
Sota seriously looked at Shii and placed his hands on her shoulders. Although he had an expression of confusion as if he knew nothing, Shii’s shoulders were already trembling.
“Kurosawa has… left this world.”
“Oniichan?”
Shii blinked her eyes.
As if not understanding what that meant, she stared at her older brother and then turned to look behind her.
Only when she realized there was no change in Nanami’s anxious expression outside the front door did Shii blink again.
“Wait, Shii!”
“Shii!?”
And then she plopped down onto the floor, as if to collapse. It would have been a big deal if not for Sota.
“Shii, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I…”
Nanami placed her hand on Shii’s shoulder and said that, but it seemed Shii wasn’t listening anymore.
“Senpai… is gone? Why?”
Whether the words were directed at Sota or Nanami didn’t seem to matter much.
“Shii.”
Sota leaned Shii against his shoulder and pulled her close.
Shii sank down without a word onto Sota’s shoulder.
Normally, Shii would have flushed with embarrassment.
But now, she was like a doll with its string cut, completely voiceless.
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