The first emotion I felt towards the existence known as Kurosawa Kagami was ‘vigilance.’
Honestly, this isn’t entirely my fault.
As someone who had fallen into this world without any explanation, I could only doubt everything, and amidst all that, Kagami showed up saying, “I’ve come to share some good words.”
Isn’t that suspicious to an enormous degree? Moreover, during our first meeting, Kagami seemed as if they were wielding some kind of power. Thinking back now, it might have just been my misunderstanding.
Nyaralatotep.
Initially, I thought of putting Kagami in that position.
Since they first appeared as Nirlas’s underling, I jumped to the conclusion that Kagami would also occupy a godlike position.
But thinking back now, that was completely off the mark. In reality, Kagami never once showed any evidence of being a being in such a high position in front of me.
Once I set aside that suspicion… yeah. Once that’s set aside, how should I think of and treat Kagami?
Thinking that way felt incredibly awkward. I couldn’t treat them as openly friendly, yet at the same time, they were too delicate to treat them openly as an enemy.
In fact, I was even speaking casually with Kagami.
“…So, this is where we are.”
Even so, since I had sent my friends away, it felt a bit odd to say nothing, so I moved towards the exhibited items that had been set up.
Kagami and Koko followed behind me.
Though it’s called an exhibit… it’s really nothing special. I just did some basic editing using the word processor program on the school computer, and then printed it using a big printer that was in school. After carefully cutting it and sticking it onto hardboard, I placed it on a canvas stand borrowed from the art room.
At the time of making it, I thought it looked decent due to the time constraints, but now, in front of others, it looked dramatically shabby.
Perhaps it felt even more so because I had just enjoyed the exhibit from another class with Yuka a moment ago.
“I took some phrases from the works of national literary figures. Since this is the literature club after all.”
“Is that so?”
Kagami replied that way, but it felt incredibly awkward as expected. They seemed to be hiding their expressions as best as they could, but their hesitant actions laid that bare.
To somehow get over this suffocating atmosphere, I increased the speed of my chin movements.
“In the gaps between, we mixed in some of the writings that we did, and that’s about it.”
I casually mentioned that with the intention of moving on, but it seemed like Kagami’s interest was piqued upon hearing those words.
Oh, really? To Kagami, I must be some unidentified something.
Well, considering that I’m a mystery myself, how must it be for Kagami?
And with Koko there as well.
“Where are the writings?”
Kagami slightly bent forward to take a closer look at the exhibit while asking.
“…Here.”
Living like a cat doesn’t seem bad.
Lazily lying in the warm sunlight, dozing off.
The quoted text was that part.
Honestly, it felt a bit embarrassing to show it directly.
Having lived a life distanced from writing, I didn’t really have confidence in my writing skills.
“…….”
Kagami stared at the writing for a while, wide-eyed.
I just wished they would say something.
“The, uh, the writing isn’t just that, you know.”
Feeling a bit nervous, I said that, and Kagami blinked, slowly turning their body towards me.
I crafted a piece of work and quickly picked up a single volume stacked beside the door of the literature club.
It wasn’t that thick. It was just a stack of papers stapled together, obviously made just for show.
…We had to sweat it out to make this.
Holding one volume in hand, I quickly walked over to Kagami and thrust it towards them.
“If you need it, take one with you.”
“…….”
Kagami stared at the volume silently again.
Do they not need it?
Just when that thought crossed my mind, Kagami grabbed the volume I offered.
As soon as I let go of it, they slowly lifted it to their line of sight.
[Hanagawa High School Literature Club Volume ‘Flower (花)’]
Even I thought it was an incredibly uncreative title for a volume, but it’s said to have been the name passed down since before. So I didn’t really think about changing it.
The cover of the volume had our photo on it. A picture of us standing together with big smiles in front of the school building.
Just beside us was the photography club, and Kaoru had brought back a big pile of snacks and headed towards that club.
Thanks to that, we were able to take a picture with a clarity incomparable to cell phone cameras.
In terms of 20 years from now, I could have just snapped a decent shot with a smartphone, but back in this era, the difference in clarity was much clearer.
Unfortunately, none of us had the skills to design it properly, and with no time to ask anyone else besides the photo, the cover ended up with just our photo glaring without the title.
We did try to emulate a magazine cover, but it was still a far cry from a magazine that could actually be sold.
“Uh, should I read it here?”
Seeing Kagami flipping through the magazine made me surprised, and Kagami looked at me.
“Ah… shall we go read it?”
“Uh… well, wouldn’t that be better? Though it’s thin, there’s quite a bit to read.”
Factually, reading it here might not even take more than 30 minutes, I thought.
Kagami closed the magazine at my words. With a pat, instead of the sound of a book closing, it made a flap sound.
We fell into silence again.
“So, you really came to see this?”
“Yeah, well, that’s right.”
Kagami answered.
Silence again.
“……Are you going to see other things?”
Kagami seemed to be contemplating.
And I was surprised to see that contemplation revealed.
No, I thought they would just head back immediately.
But I don’t mean to say they should head back right away.
If I said something like that now, it would feel like I’m chasing them away, which would not feel right.
However, bringing Kagami along to things like a haunted house or a death race felt rather off as well.
After a moment of contemplation, I asked, “……Do you want to take a picture?”
Kagami blinked in surprise.
“Since the photography club is right next door.”
Given how the festival is prepared for full enjoyment by other classes or clubs, the top floor of this stinky school doesn’t have much going on.
But if I had to pick somewhere interesting among them, it would be about the photography club.
The photography club is essentially similar to what we have. They print the photos they take onto photo paper and display them.
However, the photography club doesn’t just stop at exhibiting; they have a small studio made in a rundown corner.
Even if it’s called a studio, it’s nothing extravagant. They just left the wall bare and put a chair in a spot where light streams in through a window.
For 200 yen, they take a photo of you there.
They don’t even print it out; if you give them your email, they send you the photo results to that email.
It’s like digitizing a sticker picture. Since the ‘sticker pictures’ don’t get made, it seems they’re relatively unpopular.
Maybe it’s because they’re squeezed in the top floor of a building that’s notoriously boring, so there aren’t many customers.
“Would you like to take a family photo?”
Kagami asked as if teasing me a bit.
“Yeah.”
I answered immediately without much thought.
Well, it’s good to have plenty of photos left behind.
I have no idea what Kagami thinks of me.
In fact, I’m not sure what I think of Kagami either. I just believe… that I don’t outright dislike them.
If I don’t dislike them, isn’t it okay if they have at least one photo of me?
There’s no way we wouldn’t have pictures. We’re not that close.
“Are you serious?”
Kagami frowned slightly and said that, so I shrugged my shoulders.
“It’s a festival after all.”
Then I looked at Koko.
“Wow?”
It seemed that Kagami only realized what I wanted after seeing my gaze.
Kagami, who had been looking around while contemplating, shrugged their shoulders as if to mimic me and said,
“Well… fine. I might as well enjoy it while I’m here.”
It’s a festival after all.
Looks like Kagami thinks that way too.
*
While the temporary studio was suitably set up in a sunlit spot, the actual photography was quite professional.
As expected of the photo club of a wealthy school, the camera looked quite good, and there were lights inside too.
Perhaps a second-year student showed us our photo, taken with great care.
The photo displayed on the laptop screen looked quite decent.
Due to being near the window, the shadows stretched long, but rather, that contributed to the atmosphere.
Even now, at a time that isn’t awkward for winter, although it’s still quite early, the sky was already tinged orange.
It brightened the dark parts just enough with weak lighting to ensure our faces were captured well, and with a good camera, the faces of Kagami, Koko, and me were properly shown.
To be honest, it was a bit of a bizarre photo.
Kagami was seated in the middle, with Koko and I on either side, and with both Koko and I making similar expressions, we merely appeared to be the same person.
Moreover, the background wasn’t one of those typical family photos; it was an old school building, and the lighting was almost entirely natural light.
Additionally, the mood emitted by Kagami in their own right was far from ordinary.
As a result, even though it was taken under the beautiful sunset light, the photo had a somewhat ominous atmosphere, like that of a horror movie poster.
However, I quite liked that photo.
“Oh, what’s up with that? What’s that?”
Kaoru laughed and peered at the picture.
Izumi was standing behind, peeking on tiptoe to see the photo.
Yuka still seemed a bit shy.
Right. Kaoru and Izumi had seen how Kagami spoke politely to me, but Yuka hadn’t seen it yet.
…How should I explain it to Yuka?
I didn’t originally plan to deceive her, but… now that it’s come to this, it’s a rather complicated situation.
Yuka thought I was a kid getting abused, so she’s been looking after me. Most of the things I’m currently using in my room were given to me by Yuka.
I realized I’ve done something quite bad to Yuka.
Feeling that guilt inside, I pulled on Yuka’s sleeve.
And then I showed her the photo.
Kagami subtly distanced themselves from Yuka. Yuka seemed to catch on to that or not as she looked at the photo—
“Pfft.”
She suddenly burst out laughing.
It was indeed such a photo.
To those who didn’t know us, if they saw it, it would evoke some uncomfortable feelings reminiscent of a bizarre horror movie poster, but at least for someone who knows Koko and me, it would seem pretty funny.
Wouldn’t it? Although we made sure to cover up the bruises for the photo, Koko and I were still wearing ghost costumes.
“Let’s take a picture too!”
Kaoru immediately shouted.
“Is it okay?”
She was talking to the second-year student who had taken our photo, so it appeared that she must be from the same grade.
“We’re fine! It’s not like we’ve had any customers!”
The student gladly responded like that while lifting the money jar. With the sound of coins rolling around inside, it seems there really hadn’t been many customers.
We decided to take a picture together.
Even though there were five of us, it was still enough with three in front and two in back. Since it was easy to take a picture of the three of us earlier, there should be plenty of room this time too.
While we were chattering and finding our spots, I noticed Kagami discreetly pulling away.
Just before Kagami exited the photography club, our eyes met.
As I contemplated how to speak to Kagami, who had briefly paused without saying anything.
I awkwardly raised one hand and waved slightly.
Kagami stared at me for a moment, then slightly bowed their head and opened the door to exit.
I caught a glimpse of the volume they were holding in their hand.
*
…Kagami couldn’t express what that feeling was.
Kagami had seen many ‘children’ up until now.
All of them had been ‘failures’. Most of them didn’t have intact bodies.
The time it took for them to come out varied. However, there had never been a case that took the normal time of 10 months like a typical person. Sometimes it took a month, others only ten days.
Fumbling about, unable to even truly take a human form, barely existing.
Some began to move by instinct and ended up sacrificing those nearby. Similarly, melting away like them, those beings would awkwardly imitate human forms but ultimately faced confinement.
They didn’t kill them.
No, that was impossible. There was no method to do that.
Still, relying on assistance from elsewhere was rather troublesome for the Kurosawa family due to various complications.
It was a stubborn place as well.
Years would pass, to the extent that the first time Kagami could have a child, it took about a whopping 10 months for them to finally create something that looked like a human being.
However, there was a problem.
“…Once the bodily issue was resolved, now it’s the soul?”
In the end, a failure yet again.
Kosuzu, who had seen the result, looked deeply disappointed.
Nevertheless, that soulless existence indeed grew like a human. Even the speed at which it grew mirrored a human’s. It was only natural that Kosuzu, who had initially been disappointed by this being, slowly regained interest.
After about 14 years, even that interest began to fade.
“…….”
Having finished those thoughts, Kagami looked down at the volume in their hands.
…They had never thought of it as their child before. Up until now.
What was inside was undeniably something alien. Something that should be worshiped, perhaps a connection between the god beyond and herself.
It would be a lie to say they didn’t harbor hatred. It would also be a lie to say they didn’t resent it.
If they said they weren’t scared upon seeing it move for the first time, that too would be a lie.
But now…
“Why does it seem so devoid of light?”
Kagami, having stepped outside the school building, found an empty bench.
In reality, it wasn’t that easy to come by. This school had an overwhelming number of students. It was shocking for this many people to gather just to enjoy a simple student festival that wasn’t particularly well-prepared or special.
Well, that’s how it is. People originally find meaning in trivial things without knowing the truths that lie beyond.
Thus, it was pure luck for Kagami to find a vacant spot where no one sat.
Quickly occupying it before someone else could, they settled down.
The paper was quite high-quality for something made by students. It was genuinely paper used for magazines.
Though the editing wasn’t particularly well done, it was surprisingly respectable for a bunch of inexperienced kids to create it.
Turning the pages, Kagami sought the writing of Kurosawa Kotoné.
“……A cat?”
They knew well that she kept a cat.
It was strange that an alien existence, not human, felt loneliness in the way humans do.
Isn’t the universe beyond that distant void empty? Although there are countless stars, the emptiness of space makes it hard for that light to reach.
For an existence living in such a place to dislike being alone in a room so much that they brought in another creature, does that even make sense?
…Sometimes, Kuro’s eyes gaze far away. Even if we look together, nothing is visible.
Perhaps, they are lost in thought? What kind of thoughts does Kuro have?
When Kuro looks at me instead of that distant place, some slightly more concrete thoughts seem to emerge.
Does this child find joy in being with me….
…The feelings expressed were far too human for an existence so distant.
“Is this something Kotoné wrote?”
Kagami jumped slightly at the voice.
Looking up, it was a teacher I’d briefly interacted with earlier.
The homeroom teacher of Kurosawa Kotoné and Kurosawa Koko.
Just recalling the name “Koko” made the feeling all the more strange.
Where in the world did that name come from? It was a name unrelated to anything Kagami recognized out there. It sounded like a name you’d give to a puppy.
Was it taken from their own name?
“May I sit beside you for a moment?”
“…….”
Kagami silently looked up at the teacher and gave a small nod.
The teacher sat down next to Kagami. It wasn’t crowded. The bench was wide enough for three people to sit comfortably.
The teacher who sat down beside them was quiet for a moment.
“Kotoné….”
It seemed like the teacher was about to bring up the topic of child abuse with Kagami, but fortunately, they opened their mouth quite cautiously.
“On the outside, they seem fine, but they’re a child that needs a lot of attention.”
Usually, Kagami would have affirmed that the concern ought to come from them. It didn’t matter whether that was genuine or an act.
“It seems being with friends has helped, but still, you can see the areas lacking.”
That fact itself was odd, but Kagami remained silent.
They merely dropped their gaze onto the paper spread before them.
…Sometimes, I wish I could just lie down like Kuro without any particular thought and sleep. Without any worries….
“Please do take care of Kotoné at home. And….”
The teacher seemed to almost bring up the subject of abuse again, but hesitated intensely and fell silent.
Do they think it would ‘worsen’?
“Today’s actions from Kotoné suggest they haven’t given up on Kurosawa-san just yet.”
“…….”
Kagami gave no response to those words.
After a moment’s contemplation, the teacher must have decided it was pointless to say more and stood up.
And while bowing over towards Kagami, they said,
“Please take good care of Kotoné. She’s a good child. At least, she deserves much better care than she’s receiving now…”
In fact, this teacher had called Kagami several times already. Kagami had ignored all calls after the first one.
The teacher straightened up, hesitating for a moment, glancing this way until they disappeared from view, and Kagami ultimately never replied.
No.
Perhaps it was that they ‘couldn’t’ reply.
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