As people continue to experience something, they become numb.
It’s the same with pain and trials.
“……”
Just yesterday, Seo Yoo-jin would’ve been crying at such events, but now, instead of tears, she wore a dazed expression.
Of course…
[Status Abnormality: Severe Depression, Severe Anxiety Disorder, Severe Nervous Breakdown, Severe Separation Anxiety.]
‘…Damn,’
Not crying doesn’t mean she’s okay.
“…Yoo-jin.”
As soon as the production team disappeared and I saw Seo Yoo-jin’s status window, I immediately wrapped her in my arms.
And just as I promised, I warmed her up.
“Ignore it.”
“……”
“I told you yesterday, there’s no need to suffer over mistakes you didn’t make. Those people are the bad ones, so just ignore them.”
“……”
Even though Yoo-jin nodded in my arms, she weakly asked me.
“…But unnie, people don’t know.”
“…What?”
“…People don’t know if those mistakes were mine or not. They’ll point fingers at me without knowing if I made those mistakes, so what should I do…?”
“……”
I flinched at Yoo-jin’s words and couldn’t say anything.
And in the end, I cast Sky Demon Enchantment.
I thought that just a simple word wouldn’t comfort her.
But…
“…Things will be okay over time.”
[Sky Demon Enchantment casting failed!]
…I even failed at casting Sky Demon Enchantment.
I realized right away why.
…Because I didn’t believe it.
Things getting better with time? Bullshit.
If the production team edits and airs things however they like, people will believe it as fact. And those who believe it will keep throwing stones.
That vicious cycle wouldn’t be solved just because time passes.
With the failure of a belief I had, the situation became desperate.
Still, there was a silver lining: there were two more people here besides me who could comfort Seo Yoo-jin.
“Yoo-jin…”
Especially the kind-hearted Lee Hye-jeong was hugging Yoo-jin from behind with tears welling in her eyes like it was her own issue.
Since Yoo-jin was originally resting in my chest, we ended up in a three-way hug.
“Unnie also… Unnie was also hurt because of the production team… But now, I’m a bit… okay. Yoo-jin, you too… It’s tough now, but there will surely come a time when it will be okay. So you need to hold on…”
Lee Hye-jeong gave a more honest comfort based on her own experiences.
Na Han-na also seemed distressed over Yoo-jin’s state and gently patted her head.
“……The truth will always come out. So hang in there.”
With three people comforting her, including Na Han-na, who usually didn’t care about others, the atmosphere quickly became warm.
But….
[Status Abnormality: Severe Depression, Severe Anxiety Disorder, Severe Nervous Breakdown, Severe Separation Anxiety.]
Still, this was not enough to change Yoo-jin’s wall-like status abnormality.
Sigh… How do I help her…
Just then, when I was pondering how to resolve Yoo-jin’s status abnormality.
“Unnie, thank you…”
Yoo-jin, who had been nestled between Lee Hye-jeong and me, dawdled out and thanked us.
On her face, there was a smile.
Even though her eyes were already stained with tears, and my clothes were wet, she seemed not to want to show that she had been crying.
“Thanks to you guys, I feel a little better now.”
[Status Abnormality: Severe Depression, Severe Anxiety Disorder, Severe Nervous Breakdown, Severe Separation Anxiety.]
Lie. She was not okay at all.
“As you said, unnie, time will solve things. So I’ll try to hang in there. But… I’m a bit tired today. I’ll head in first.”
“…Yoo-jin, let’s go together.”
“…Oh, okay. Please wait a moment, unnie. I’ll go to the bathroom for a bit.”
Yoo-jin, who had been sticking by my side all day long, went off alone to the bathroom.
Though she smiled once at us as if she was really okay, her back looked incredibly lonely.
[Status Abnormality: Severe Depression, Severe Anxiety Disorder, Severe Nervous Breakdown, Severe Separation Anxiety.]
Her status abnormalities were still flamboyant.
Bang.
As soon as Yoo-jin exited the practice room, we three whispered.
“…She said she’s okay, but she still doesn’t look okay, does she?”
“…No, it’s obvious.”
“It seems she wanted to pretend to be fine in front of us.”
Seo Yoo-jin, who had initially been self-centered, was now maturing, but in such a painful way.
I sighed at Yoo-jin’s state and said to Lee Hye-jeong and Na Han-na.
“Is there… anything we can do for Yoo-jin?”
“……”
“……”
At my question, the two fell silent.
Then Lee Hye-jeong opened her mouth hesitantly.
“Maybe… as Na Ah Ah participants, we could expose the production team’s wrongdoing…”
“Unnie!”
Na Han-na, with sleepy eyes wide open, was shocked and interrupted her.
She then pointed to the abandoned camera in the corner.
Zing…
The camera was still diligently running and had a high-quality microphone attached.
“……”
“……”
Na Han-na reminded us of that fact, pulling us to a corner where the microphone wouldn’t reach and whispered.
“…Unnie, are we not debuting? Exposure? Whistleblowing? This industry is sensitive to those things. The moment you even mention it… you’ll never be able to set foot here again.”
“……”
…Right, exposing would carry too much risk.
We were just trainees, while behind Na Ah Ah stood the Nnet broadcasting station, and behind that was one of Korea’s top five major conglomerates.
The moment we provoke them, we’d be kicked out of this industry with all sorts of legal measures.
Lee Hye-jeong seemed to realize that and closed her mouth.
Sigh… then what should we do…
“Hoo…”
And together we sighed and fell silent.
Just then…
“…But, unnie, why isn’t she coming back?”
“……!”
Swish…
As soon as I heard Na Han-na’s words, I checked the time.
Five minutes had already passed.
It was too long for just a quick bathroom break.
‘Crazy.’
At that moment, I felt a chill run down my spine.
How naïve I had been.
Leaving Seo Yoo-jin, who was suffering from severe depression, severe anxiety disorder, and other horrifying status abnormalities, all alone.
Lee Hye-jeong and Na Han-na got up with stiff expressions, sensing the urgency just like I did.
We rushed to the bathroom where Yoo-jin had said she’d go.
And….
“Hic… Huh… Huh…”
“……”
From the lit bathroom, we could hear a muffled sob.
It didn’t seem to be the extreme situation we feared, but that didn’t bring any relief either.
So the three of us stood there for a while in front of the bathroom where Yoo-jin was crying.
It felt utterly dreadful.
That night.
Before Seo Yoo-jin could say it, I asked her to sleep together, and we spent the night tightly embracing on the same bed.
But….
“Mmm…”
Because of the events of last night, I couldn’t easily sleep and woke up a bit earlier than usual.
And….
“…Huh?”
There was no Seo Yoo-jin by my side when I woke up.
It was still early morning, and there was plenty of time before gathering. The dining hall wouldn’t even be open yet… so where on earth did she go?
Feeling something akin to the dread from yesterday, I grabbed my outerwear and set out to find Yoo-jin.
“Yoo-jin… Yoo-jin…!”
What would it feel like if a child left beside a river suddenly vanished?
The quiet dormitory.
It was still a time when most participants should be asleep, but I didn’t care about that and ran through the building calling for Yoo-jin.
And…
“…Unnie?”
“…Yoo-jin.”
…Luckily, I was able to find her quickly.
“…Why aren’t you sleeping more?”
“Why do you?”
Seo Yoo-jin stood on the first floor, neat in casual clothes she brought instead of the training outfit provided by Na Ah Ah.
I was perplexed by her appearance and asked, and Yoo-jin replied with a weak smile.
“Unnie… I… I want to quit.”
“……!”
Of course, tears began to well up in her eyes almost immediately.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore… I don’t know how the production team will act…, and also…”
“……”
“If I’m here, I’ll just be a burden to you unnie…”
As Yoo-jin spoke, her hands trembled.
In that moment, I couldn’t say a word.
Don’t give up, hang in there a bit longer.
I tried to say this, but my lips wouldn’t move.
In this situation… where she was still being criticized by the public and the production team declared they would bury her…
I secretly knew that quitting might be the less painful choice for Yoo-jin.
How much had she pondered overnight, how much did she suffer?
So I just nodded and said this.
“…Let’s go together, Yoo-jin. I’ll be by your side.”
Standing next to Yoo-jin as she expressed her wish to quit to the production team.
That was all I could do for her.
“…Thank you, unnie.”
Yoo-jin nodded, and we headed toward the production team’s base together.
The base, though called that, wasn’t anything grand.
It was just a dormitory meeting room temporarily used by the production team in a corner of the Na Ah Ah dormitory.
Since the production team almost always stayed there overnight, there would definitely be some awake, even at such an early hour.
We trudged there, and indeed the production team’s headquarters was lit.
“Okay, I’ll open the door, Yoo-jin.”
“…Yeah.”
The moment I steadied myself and opened the door…
“Shin PD!!!!”
“……!”
…A scream came from inside that was hard to believe was in the morning.
“Shin PD, where did you go? PD!!!”
“He said he would just take a short nap…! But I don’t know where he is…”
“Find him! Quickly! Right now, inform the legal team too! I want any remaining people to gather community and internet reactions ASAP!”
Inside the headquarters, the production team was running around like it was a war zone, waving documents everywhere.
“What’s going on…?”
“Yeah, what’s happening…?”
Yoo-jin and I were just dumbfounded at the unexpected scene when…
“Yee-rin? And Yoo-jin? What brings you here?!”
“Uh… that is….”
“We’re busy, so we’ll talk later! Please come back later, okay?”
…Forced out by the production team, we had no choice but to leave.
As we walked back, Yoo-jin and I stood in silence, then spoke.
“…It seems something big is going on.”
“I heard there might have been something happening on the internet…”
“Internet?”
Yoo-jin and I immediately searched for a tablet PC in our practice room.
That was the only way to access the internet in this place where our phones were confiscated and there were no computers.
And soon we found out why the production team was in such an emergency.
“This is…”
“……”
It was a post that had been uploaded to a community.
In the early dawn, when most people were asleep, that post had appeared…
[I’m a participant who was on Na Ah Ah. Since I’m quitting being an idol, I’ll confess my conscience.]
…It was heating up the community while producing dozens of internet articles from early morning onward.
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